Overlooking an Offense

Solomon wrote, “A man’s discretion makes him slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense” (Prov 19:11). This verse highlights the importance of wisdom in mastering one’s emotions. It is okay to feel anger, as long as the emotion does not take control. Elsewhere, Solomon warns, “Do not be eager in your spirit to be angry, for anger resides in the heart of fools” (Eccl 7:9; cf. Jam 1:19-20). The Hebrew word for “discretion” (śēḵel) refers to insight, prudence, and discernment—the ability to assess a situation with objectivity rather than reacting emotionally. The phrase “slow to anger” (‘erek ‘appayim) describes a steady, controlled mental attitude, the ability to maintain poise under provocation. This is a mark of spiritual maturity. According to Kitchen “This does not necessarily mean that a man does not get angry. It means, rather, that he conceals that anger well (Prov 12:16) and responds calmly (Prov 15:1) until he can process the wrong that has been done to him.”^[1] In several places the Bible reveals that God Himself is “slow to anger” (Ex 34:6; Neh 9:17; Psa 86:15; 145:8; Joel 2:13; Jon 4:2; Nah 1:3).

The second half of the verse states, “it is his glory to overlook an offense” (Prov 19:11b). The word “glory” (tiph’arah), according to HALOT, means “glory, splendor, and radiance.”^[2] Kitchen states, “It can refer to a reputation, name, fame or renown. Retaliation is not the badge to wear. Rather, let us be known for being adorned by the beauty of forbearance and a longsuffering spirit (Eph 4:32; Col 3:13).”^[3] This is a picture of a soul governed by God’s Word, as the believer chooses to overlook the offense given. Such restraint is not weakness but strength under control, reflecting the character of Christ. It reveals a heart that values unity, grace, and peace over personal vindication (Rom 12:18; Jam 3:17).

This principle of graciously overlooking an offense applies to every area of life—relationships, work, and daily interactions. In personal relationships, the believer who operates with a biblical mindset understands that most offenses are trivial and not worth the mental energy of anger or resentment. Christian integrity demands a biblical mindset, recognizing that reactionary behavior is a distraction from executing God’s plan. In marriage, friendships, and fellowship with other believers, mature love dismisses minor offenses, avoiding mental attitude sins such as bitterness, resentment, and vindictiveness. The same principle holds in the workplace. Professionalism requires composure and controlled speech in the face of criticism or injustice. Solomon wrote, “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger” (Prov 15:1). Ross notes, “More than merely gentle or soft, the idea seems to be conciliatory, i.e., an answer that restores good temper and reasonableness.”^[4]

Overlooking an offense is a function of a mind calibrated to grace. God does not deal with us as our sins deserve but extends grace, patience, and mercy. As David wrote, “The LORD is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in lovingkindness. He will not always strive with us, nor will He keep His anger forever. He has not dealt with us according to our sins, nor rewarded us according to our iniquities” (Psa 103:8-10). Jesus Christ, in His humanity, demonstrated this mental attitude when He forgave those who crucified Him (Luke 23:34). The believer is called to exhibit the same grace, as Scripture directs us to “Bear with one another, and forgive each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so must you do also” (Col 3:13). Those who live in reaction to others are easily manipulated by circumstances and emotions. But the believer who thinks and lives biblically recognizes that anger and retaliation are distractions from the spiritual life. Instead of reacting, they remain objective, maintain composure, and keep pressing forward in the spiritual life.

In summary, Proverbs 19:11 presents a portrait of spiritual maturity marked by discretion, emotional restraint, and gracious forbearance. The believer who is slow to anger and overlooks personal offenses reflects the character of God, who Himself is patient, merciful, and abounding in lovingkindness. This virtue is not a sign of weakness but of inner strength grounded in a biblical worldview and governed by divine wisdom. Rather than being ruled by momentary emotions or the urge to retaliate, the mature believer responds with grace, promoting peace and preserving unity. Such conduct honors the Lord, adorns the believer’s testimony, and serves as a powerful witness in a world prone to reaction and retribution. Let us then pursue discretion and glory, as we walk in step with the Spirit and demonstrate the love and patience of Christ to those around us.

Dr. Steven R. Cook

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^[1] John A. Kitchen, Proverbs: A Mentor Commentary, Mentor Commentaries (Fearn, Ross-shire, Great Britain: Mentor, 2006), 419.

^[2] Ludwig Koehler et al., The Hebrew and Aramaic Lexicon of the Old Testament (Leiden: E.J. Brill, 1994–2000), 1772.

^[3] John A. Kitchen, Proverbs: A Mentor Commentary, 419.

^[4] Allen P. Ross, “Proverbs,” in The Expositor’s Bible Commentary, vol. 5 (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan Publishing House, 1991), 992.