Category Archives: Prayer

The Right to Pray to God

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Christ grants believers direct access to the Father in prayer through His name (John 16:23; Eph. 2:18). This means we approach the Father on the basis of Christ’s merit and finished work, not our own performance or worthiness. Jesus said, “If you ask the Father for anything in My name, He will give it to you” (John 16:23b). To pray “in My name” is not a formula of words, but an appeal grounded in who Christ is and what He has accomplished. According to Hart, “The prayer is made for Jesus’ sake, not primarily for personal benefit. So we can ask in prayer as if Jesus were asking it. This implies that our prayers must be designed according to His will, character, and purpose (1 John 5:14–15).[1]

This access is also mediated through the Spirit. Paul writes, “through Him we both have our access in one Spirit to the Father” (Eph. 2:18). The Son provides the way, and the Spirit enables the approach. The believer does not strive to gain audience with God; he already possesses it. This reflects the new covenant reality, where barriers are removed. The veil has been torn (Matt. 27:51), and the believer is invited to “draw near with confidence to the throne of grace” (Heb. 4:16). Prayer, then, is not an attempt to secure God’s attention, but the exercise of a privilege already granted in Christ.

Jesus opened a new avenue of fellowship where the believer stands welcomed and heard because he is identified with the Son. Union with Christ is the ground of this relationship. As the Father hears the Son, so He hears those who are in Him. This establishes both confidence and responsibility. Confidence, because access is secured. Responsibility, because prayer is to be aligned with the character and will of God. John writes, “if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us” (1 John 5:14). The believer’s requests are shaped by Scripture (His revealed will), guided by the Spirit, and directed toward God’s purposes.

This privilege results in fullness of joy. Jesus said, “ask and you will receive, so that your joy may be made full” (John 16:24). Answered prayer is not merely about obtaining what is requested, but about deeper fellowship with God. As the believer learns to pray in dependence on Christ and in submission to the Father’s will, he experiences the stability, peace, and joy that come from communion with God.

Reasons why prayer is not answered:

Negative answers to prayer often trace back to the believer’s condition and thinking. Scripture identifies several causes. Domestic strife disrupts prayer, for “your prayers will not be hindered” only when there is proper harmony (1 Pet. 3:7). A pattern of evil living places one out of fellowship, since “the face of the Lord is against those who do evil” (1 Pet. 3:12), and inward sin blocks effectiveness, for “if I regard wickedness in my heart, the Lord will not hear” (Ps. 66:18). A lack of compassion can close the channel, since “he who shuts his ear to the cry of the poor will also cry himself and not be answered” (Prov. 21:13). Neglect of God’s word further blocks prayer, for “He who turns away his ear from listening to the law, even his prayer is an abomination” (Prov. 28:9; cf. Zec. 7:12–13), and effective prayer assumes that His word is abiding within (John 15:7). Self-centered, lust-driven requests fail because “you ask and do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives” (Jam. 4:3), and a lack of faith destabilizes prayer, since the one who doubts “ought not to expect that he will receive anything from the Lord” (Jam. 1:6–7). Disobedience further hinders prayer, for answered prayer is connected to walking in what pleases the Lord (1 John 3:22). Finally, prayer that runs contrary to God’s will is not granted, for “if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us” (1 John 5:14). The issue is not access, which is secured in Christ, but alignment with God’s word and will.

Steven R. Cook, D.Min., M.Div.

If this article has enriched your understanding and walk with Christ, and you feel led to support my ministry, your generosity is greatly appreciated. Your gifts enable me to continue sharing the gospel of grace and providing in-depth biblical teachings. Thank you for partnering with me in this mission.

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[1] John F. Hart, “John,” in The Moody Bible Commentary, ed. Michael A. Rydelnik and Michael Vanlaningham (Chicago, IL: Moody Publishers, 2014), 1648.

Biblical Strategies for Dealing with a Toxic Supervisor

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A Scolding BossSome years ago, I suffered under a toxic boss who had a very controlling personality. She meticulously managed her public image, maintaining a polished but fake charm, and used relationships to maintain her power. Despite her initial charm, her character flaws became evident over time. On several occasions, I witnessed her using intimidation tactics with staff, shutting them down in an unjust and cold manner. Over the years, I saw others suffer under her abusive leadership, with most resigning out of frustration. Her noxious behavior created a psychologically harmful work environment, undermining trust and morale among the staff. Many avoided her whenever possible.

For years, I felt dread toward her due to her overly critical, unpredictable, and harsh behavior. Other employees shared this sentiment, anticipating her criticism or unfair treatment. This dread created a tense work environment, damaging morale and productivity. As a bully boss, she used her authority to intimidate and mistreat employees through cold looks, constant criticism, unfair demands, and threats. This pervasive anxiety affected every aspect of the workday, leading to unwarranted stress, decreased job satisfaction, and physical symptoms like tense muscles and migraines (which I experienced for years). Her poor leadership broke down team cohesion. Over time, I noticed that she would hide her behavior by presenting a completely different persona to the board or outside observers. She acted charming, competent, or even supportive in their presence, creating a stark contrast with how she treated us. This made it difficult for me and others to prove her bullying.

Cold Bully BossI tried to reason with her on multiple occasions about work-related matters, but she wouldn’t listen and appeared closed-minded. She then began a process of elimination by marginalizing me, ignoring me in person, and in public settings. This tactic made me feel isolated, devalued, and unsupported, which felt like a betrayal and was very demoralizing. Her acts of rejection, ignoring me, and social isolation were very painful and caused me to experience psychological and emotional disequilibrium. Her lack of communication created uncertainty, making me feel insecure about my job status, performance, and future with the company. Her betrayal as a trusted supervisor hurt me. Biblically, David experienced the pain of betrayal, lamenting, “My friend, the one I trusted completely, the one who shared my food, has turned against me” (Psalm 41:9). Even Jesus “was deeply troubled” when Judas was about to betray Him (John 13:21). As people, none of us are exempt from the hurt caused when a trusted person turns against us for no good reason.

Having never experienced this kind of toxic behavior before, I found myself mentally and emotionally derailed and, for a while, did not know how to deal with it. I was completely caught off guard, and it took me several months to recognize the pattern of what was happening, to make sense of my mental and emotional state, and develop a strategy to fight against feeling devalued as a human being. For a short time, I experienced depression and sought professional medical help from my doctor, which was helpful.

As a Christian, I naturally turned to the Lord, prayed constantly, read a lot of Scripture, claimed Bible promises, and decided to live by faith. I was hurt but chose not to hate. In dealing with the hurt and challenges posed by my toxic supervisor, I began a journey of developing biblical coping mechanisms that helped sustain me mentally and emotionally.

A Thinking ManMy first course of action was to reprioritize my life and give attention to what mattered most. The years of dealing with a toxic boss had negatively impacted my marriage. After reflecting on my situation at work, I decided to step down from my position and assume a lesser role that removed me from daily interaction with my supervisor. I had to take a cut in pay, but I thought it was necessary given my painful circumstances at work. The subsequent separation from my boss was healthy, as it removed me from the line of fire. It took me a few months to recalibrate my thoughts and feelings, but after seeking medical help and digging deeply into God’s Word, the dark clouds rolled away, and the sun began to shine again in my life. What follows are some of the practices I employed during my time of dealing with a toxic boss, and these continue to be part of my daily routine.

  1. A Man Reading His BibleMeditate on God’s Word. David wrote of the righteous person who delights “in the law of the LORD, and in His law he meditates day and night” (Psa 1:2; cf. Josh 1:8). Elsewhere it is written, “O how I love Your law! It is my meditation all the day” (Psa 119:97). Paul wrote, “Let the word of Christ richly dwell within you, with all wisdom teaching and admonishing one another with psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with thankfulness in your hearts to God” (Col 3:16). Meditating on Scripture involves more than just reading it. It encompasses a consistent practice of engaging with the text, allowing its teachings to permeate the mind. This process includes regularly reading passages from the Bible and taking time to ponder their meanings and implications. Throughout the day, meditation on Scripture encourages reflection on how its principles apply to daily life. This practice helps integrate biblical wisdom into everyday living and supports spiritual growth. This was essential for me during this difficult time.
  2. Manage my thoughts. Disciplining my mind to focus on God rather than my problems was critical. Isaiah wrote, “You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you” (Isa 26:3). Paul wrote, “We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ” (2 Cor 10:5). I learned that the stability of the Christian life depends, to a large degree, on the biblical content and continuity of my thinking. It’s not only what I think but also what I continue to think about that brings mental peace. If I focus on problems rather than God, my peace fades.
  3. A Man Walking with BibleLive by faith. I understand the Christian life starts and ends with faith, which provides stability for my soul during difficult times. God said, “My righteous one shall live by faith” (Heb 10:38a). I need to trust God at His Word, claiming His promises and obeying His directives. Scripture teaches me to “walk by faith, not by sight” (2 Cor 5:7) and to “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight” (Prov 3:5-6). As a Christian, I need to “trust in Him at all times” (Psa 62:8a) because “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble” (Psa 46:1). My challenge was to make sure my faith was greater than my feelings.
  4. Don’t complain. It’s easy for me to start complaining when I’m under attack, especially if I feel it’s unjust. However, I must be careful because once I start down this road, it becomes increasingly difficult to turn back, and complaining does not solve my problems. Scripture tells me, “Do all things without complaining or arguing” (Phil 2:14) and “Be hospitable to one another without complaint” (1 Pet 4:9). I must admit, this was challenging for me, but I realize complaining fixes nothing and can actually create a path for mental attitude sins to develop. As difficult as it was for me, I chose a faith response to “Rejoice always; pray without ceasing; and in everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you [me] in Christ Jesus” (1 Th 5:16-18). This helped shield my soul from the intruding darkness that confronted me.
  5. Kneeling ManPray for leadership. God’s Word directs me to pray for leaders, and I made it a discipline to pray for my boss on a daily basis. Paul wrote, “I urge that entreaties and prayers, petitions and thanksgivings, be made on behalf of all men, for kings and all who are in authority, so that we may lead a tranquil and quiet life in all godliness and dignity” (1 Tim 2:1-2). Praying for leadership is an act of faith and obedience to God, even though a leader may be unjust. I did not approve of my supervisor’s values and practices, but I did not hate her either. I chose to pray for her and to seek God’s best in her life.
  6. Respect leadership. Respecting leadership can be challenging, especially when I realize those in positions of leadership may not operate according to the same ethical standards that guide me. It helps me to understand that respect does not mean approval. Peter wrote, “Servants, be submissive to your masters with all respect, not only to those who are good and gentle, but also to those who are unreasonable. For this finds favor, if for the sake of conscience toward God a person bears up under sorrows when suffering unjustly” (1 Pet 2:18-19). This was accomplished by faith and not feelings.
  7. FurnaceRealize God uses difficulties to develop my character. God sometimes places me in the furnace of affliction to burn away the dross of weak character and to refine the golden qualities He wants to see in me. And whenever He turns up the heat, He never takes His hand off the thermostat. My response is always to be one of faith, as I trust Him in the trial. Paul wrote, “we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope” (Rom 5:3-4). To “rejoice” in problems is surely an act of faith. James wrote similarly, saying, “Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance; and let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be mature and complete, lacking in nothing” (Jam 1:2-4). My faith was not always as strong as I would have liked, and there were times when darkness invaded my soul. Still, I learned to apply these verses to my boss and situation and, over time, grew stronger.
  8. Disassociate when possible. David wrote, “I do not associate with deceitful men, or consort with those who are dishonest” (Psa 26:4). David wanted to be a person of humility, truth, and righteousness, and because he understood that “Bad company corrupts good character” (1 Cor 15:33), he chose to disassociate from people marked by deceit and dishonesty. David’s choice to separate highlights his commitment to a life of integrity and devotion to God. Spiritual health sometimes necessitates, when possible, separating from those who operate by worldly values that are contrary to God and His Word.
  9. Avoid trouble when possible. God’s Word directs me to make good choices, and sometimes this means being wise by avoiding unethical and harmful people. Solomon wrote, “A shrewd person sees danger and hides himself, but the naïve keep right on going and suffer for it” (Prov 22:3). It is valid, when possible, to avoid the attacks of abusive leaders. David twice fled when Saul tried to kill him with a spear (1 Sam 18:11; 19:10) and refused to retaliate, even when he had the opportunity (1 Sam 24:4-6). Obadiah hid one hundred prophets of the Lord from the hostile attacks of Ahab and Jezebel (1 Ki 18:1-4). Jehosheba hid Joash from the attacks of Athaliah, “So he was hidden with her in the house of the LORD six years, while Athaliah was reigning over the land” (2 Ki 11:3). Twice, it is recorded that Jesus “hid Himself” from some of the hostile Jewish leadership who wanted to kill Him (John 8:59; 12:36). When possible, to mitigate conflict, I avoided my boss by taking a path that circumvented her office or walking past the breakroom when she was there.
  10. Defend yourself legally when necessary. Some leaders are abusive, and there may be times when legal action is required as a means of self-protection. On one occasion, the apostle Paul used legal force and exercised his rights as a Roman citizen to protect himself from a flogging (Acts 22:25-29). As Paul was about to be whipped, he asked, “Is it lawful for you to scourge a man who is a Roman and uncondemned?” (Acts 22:25). Once the Roman commander was aware of Paul’s legal status, they “immediately let go of him” (Acts 22:29). On another occasion, when Paul felt he was not getting a fair trial (Acts 25:7-12), he said, “I appeal to Caesar” (Acts 25:11), which was the highest court in the land. Christians have the right, like any law-abiding citizen, to protect themselves by means of legal action against unjust suffering. I did not pursue this option, partly because I did not know what my legal rights were, and the agency did not have an HR at the time to help guide me, so I absorbed the injustice and moved on as best I could.
  11. God Will Avenge 3Let God deal out retribution. It is valid for Christians to operate from a place of justice, but never revenge. Scripture states, “Do not say, ‘I will repay evil;’ wait for the LORD, and He will save you” (Prov 20:22). It also says, “Never pay back evil for evil to anyone. Respect what is right in the sight of all men. If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men. Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God” (Rom 12:17-19a). Additionally, it is written, “See that no one repays another with evil for evil, but always seek after that which is good for one another and for all people” (1 Th 5:15). Peter wrote, “All of you be harmonious, sympathetic, brotherly, kindhearted, and humble in spirit; not returning evil for evil or insult for insult, but giving a blessing instead; for you were called for the very purpose that you might inherit a blessing” (1 Pet 3:8-9). God will dispense justice in His time and way, as Paul states, “It is only just for God to repay with affliction those who afflict you, and to give relief to you who are afflicted” (2 Th 1:6-7). I chose to operate from a divine viewpoint and to place the matter in God’s hands, letting Him administer justice as He sees fit.
  12. ForgivenessForgive the offender. I chose to forgive my boss, even though she did not apologize or change her behavior. I think of the words of Jesus, who said, “But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins” (Matt 6:15). It’s interesting that Jesus prayed for those who crucified Him, saying, “Father, forgive them” (Luke 23:34). This did not remove the guilt of His attackers but did express the heart of Jesus toward those who harmed Him. Wanting to be like my Savior, I chose to have a forgiving heart toward my boss. Unconditional forgiveness benefits me personally, for holding on to unforgiveness is like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies. It doesn’t work out very well for me.
  13. Maintain integrity. Despite the toxic environment, I needed to act with integrity and pursue righteousness. David wrote, “May integrity and honesty protect me, for I put my hope in You” (Psa 25:21). Solomon wrote, “Whoever walks in integrity walks securely, but whoever takes crooked paths will be found out” (Prov 10:9), and “The integrity of the upright guides them, but the unfaithful are destroyed by their duplicity” (Prov 11:3). Pursuing integrity meant pursuing God’s will for me, being honest with Him and truthful with others, and abiding by the ethical standards set forth in Scripture.
  14. A Man and His WifeTake time to rest and pray. As a caregiver, it’s important that I make time to rest and pray, for I cannot pour from an empty vessel. Even Jesus, during His earthly ministry, made time to get away by Himself to rest and pray. In Luke’s Gospel, we’re told, “Jesus Himself would often slip away to the wilderness and pray” (Luke 5:16), and “He went off to the mountain to pray, and He spent the whole night in prayer to God” (Luke 6:12; cf. Matt 14:23). Making time for rest is a necessity for good mental health. Lewis Sperry Chafer wrote, “It is a serious thing to remove the element of relaxation and play from any life. We cannot be normal physically, mentally, or spiritually if we neglect the vital factor in human life. God has provided that our joy shall be full” (Lewis S. Chafer, He That Is Spiritual, p. 61).

In summary, I endured years of dealing with a toxic supervisor, which led to intense emotional and psychological struggles. Initially, I grappled with feelings of betrayal and isolation, but I turned to God and His Word for support and guidance. By employing biblical coping strategies, I found strength, peace, and resilience in the midst of my adversity while maintaining my faith and integrity. I also had to reprioritize my life and make hard choices that ultimately brought about marital, social, and psychological stability.

Dr. Steven R. Cook

If this article has enriched your understanding and walk with Christ, and you feel led to support my ministry, your generosity is greatly appreciated. Your gifts enable me to continue sharing the gospel of grace and providing in-depth biblical teachings. Thank you for partnering with me in this mission.

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[1] Interestingly, even after Judas betrayed Jesus with a kiss (Matt 26:49), Jesus still called him “Friend” (Matt 26:50), which was a final act of grace from a heart of love. Nevertheless, Jesus was troubled by Judas’s betrayal.

When God Said “Do Not Pray”

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     There are two instances in Scripture—that I’m aware of—when God told someone not to pray, for He would not hear their prayer. Moses is the first example, for though he’d been faithful to God most of his life, he was told by the Lord he’d not enter the land promised to Israel because of his disobedience as a leader when he struck the rock (Num. 20:8-12). Moses pleaded with the Lord, saying, “Let me, I pray, cross over and see the fair land that is beyond the Jordan, that good hill country and Lebanon. But the LORD was angry with me on your account, and would not listen to me; and the LORD said to me, ‘Enough! Speak to Me no more of this matter’” (Deut. 3:25-26). God’s decision concerning Moses was final. Moses would not enter the Promised Land, for the Lord said, “Go up to the top of Pisgah and lift up your eyes to the west and north and south and east, and see it with your eyes, for you shall not cross over this Jordan” (Deut. 3:25-27; cf. Deut. 1:37; 31:1-2). God explained to Moses why He would not hear his prayer, saying, “because you broke faith with Me in the midst of the sons of Israel at the waters of Meribah-kadesh, in the wilderness of Zin, because you did not treat Me as holy in the midst of the sons of Israel” (Deut. 32:51). No amount of prayer would change God’s mind, so He told Moses to stop praying about it.

     Do not pray-2The second example is the prophet Jeremiah. God told him not to pray for his fellow Israelites. Three times God told Jeremiah, “do not pray for this people, and do not lift up cry or prayer for them, and do not intercede with Me; for I do not hear you” (Jer. 7:16; cf. 11:14; 14:11). The reason behind God’s command was that He had decided to judge and punish His people (Jer. 7:20) because they’d repeatedly broken their covenant with Him by disobeying His commands and pursuing other gods, which He had forbidden (Ex. 20:2-4; cf. Ezek. 20:4-24).[1] Israel’s idolatry was terrible in Jeremiah’s day and included human sacrifice, as many caused their children to be burned alive (Jer. 19:4-5; cf. Ezek. 16:20-21; 20:25-26, 31). Over and over again, Israel disobeyed God’s commands and would not change their behavior (Jer. 7:21-26; 11:1-13).[2] Though Jeremiah had repeatedly spoken God’s Word to them for over two decades (Jer. 25:3), the people openly defied His message, telling him, “As for the message that you have spoken to us in the name of the LORD, we are not going to listen to you!” (Jer. 44:16). Their hearts were hardened to God’s Word. If Israel had listened to God and turned back to Him from their idolatry, God would have reversed His discipline and provided blessing instead (Jer. 7:3-7). Until they changed their ways, no amount of prayer was going to change their situation. God would not be moved by their pleas, or the petitions of His prophets.

     The New Testament teaches that God will discipline His disobedient people (Heb. 12:6; Rev. 3:19; 1 Cor. 11:32), even to the point of death (Acts 5:1-11; 1 Cor. 11:27-30, 1 John 5:16-17). However, there are no examples in the New Testament of God telling anyone not to pray. Instead, we are commanded to be “devoted to prayer” (Rom. 12:12; cf. Col. 4:2), to “pray at all times in the Spirit” (Eph. 6:18), and to “pray without ceasing” (1 Thess. 5:17; cf. Luke 18:1). This means the believer is to look to God always for wisdom and strength to do His will, lifting others before His throne of grace, requesting He will intervene as we ask, for His glory and their benefit.

Steven R. Cook, D.Min.

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[1] God had formed a covenant (בְּרִית berith) with the nation of Israel after He’d delivered them from Egyptian captivity (Ex. Chapters 3-14). The nation of Israel became a theocracy, and God gave them a total of 613 commands that were to guide their relationship with Him and others. God promised to bless Israel if they abided by the stipulations of the covenant (Deut. 28:1-14), and He promised to curse them if they did not (Deut. 28:15-68). God was being faithful to His word.

[2] The sin of idolatry was widespread in Jeremiah’s day, including Israel’s king, princes, and elders (Jer. 44:17), down to the basic unit of society, the family (Jer. 7:18). It’s an evil thing when parents lead their children away from righteousness and into gross immorality.

The Basics of Prayer

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     There are two statements I hear people make about prayer that are incorrect: 1) there’s power in prayer, and 2) prayer changes things. Both statements give undue authority to the one who prays. Biblically, the power lies in the One who answers the prayer, and He alone reserves the right to change things if He wills. God answers prayer, but He does so according to His sovereign will.[1] Sometimes He says yes, sometimes no, and sometimes wait. It is good to remember that a prayer delayed is not necessarily a prayer denied. Sometimes we just need patience.

Kneeling at Window     Prayer is discussion with God. It is motivated by different causes and takes different forms.[2] Most often prayer is an appeal to God to change a difficult or helpless situation. Sometimes God changes our situations as we request (i.e., concerning employment, health, finances, family matters, etc.), and sometimes He leaves the difficult situation and seeks to change our attitude (2 Cor 12:7-10). When God does not remove a difficult situation as we request, then He intends for us to deal with it by faith (Jam 1:2-4). God uses difficult situations to remove pride (Dan 4:37; 2 Cor 12:7-10), and to develop our Christian character (Rom 5:3-5). It’s almost always the case that we prefer God change our circumstances rather than our attitude; and yet, it seems both biblically and experientially that God prefers to do the opposite. Though the Lord is concerned about our difficult situations, He’s more concerned with developing our Christian character than relieving our discomfort. However God chooses to answer, He has His reasons and they always glorify Him. A challenge to us is to trust that His plan is better than ours, wherever it happens to lead us, or however difficult the journey becomes.

     Prayer is for believers, for one can address God as Father only as a member of the family of God (John 1:12; Gal 3:26).[3] Jesus prayed often, both publicly and privately (Matt 11:25-26; 14:23; 19:13; 26:36; Mark 6:46; Luke 5:16; 6:12; 9:28; 10:21; 22:41-42; John 11:41-42; 12:27-28; 17:1-26), and His prayer life was so noticeable, that His disciples asked Him to teach them to pray (Luke 11:1-4; cf. Matt 6:9-13). For the Christian, prayer should be directed to God the Father (Matt 6:6; Luke 11:2; Eph 5:20; 1 Pet 1:17),[4] in the name of Jesus (John 14:13; 15:16), and in the Holy Spirit (Eph 6:18; Jude 1:20). Praying in the name of Jesus is not a magic formula that makes our prayers acceptable to God; rather, it means our request is consistent with Jesus’ character and will (1 John 5:14-15). Praying in the Spirit means we pray as the Spirit leads according to Scripture.[5] It is interesting to note that both God the Holy Spirit and God the Son offer intercessory prayers for us to God the Father (Rom.8:26; Heb 7:24-25).

     Some of the different types of prayer found in Scripture include: request (Phil 4:6; Eph 6:18), thanksgiving (John 11:41; Phil 4:6), submission (Luke 22:41-42), faith (Jam 5:15), imprecation[6] (Psa 58:6-8; 69:23-28), and intercession (Acts 12:1-5). The best prayers seek to glorify God above all else. Moses provides a model prayer in Exodus 32:7-14 where he prayed on behalf of His people, Israel, that God would not pour out His wrath on them because of their idolatry (Ex 32:1-6). Moses’ prayer to God starts by identifying Israel as “Your people” whom He had rescued from Egyptian bondage (Ex 32:11). Israel was not just any people, but God’s chosen nation, who had already tasted of His great grace and compassion.[7] After citing God’s deliverance, Moses then argued with God to withhold His wrath for two reasons: First, if God destroyed Israel, then His reputation among the pagan nations would be tarnished (Ex 32:12). Moses sought to protect God’s reputation in the eyes of others, even unbelievers, and to uphold His glory above self-interest. Second, if God destroyed Israel, He would be in violation of the promises He’d made to Israel’s forefathers, Abraham, Isaac, and Israel (Ex 32:13). Moses did not want others to see God as one who fails to keep His promises. Moses’ prayer was heard and God relented of the judgment He intended to bring on His people because of their sin (Ex 32:14).

When God Does Not Hear Our Prayers

     There are some things in life that God conditions on prayer (Jam 4:2), but praying is no guarantee He’ll grant our request. Being a righteous God, He only hears the prayers of those who seek to know Him and do His will. The apostle Peter writes, “For the eyes of the Lord are upon the righteous and his ears are open to their prayer. But the Lord’s face is against those who do evil” (1 Pet 3:12). The apostle John writes, “This is the confidence which we have before Him, that, if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests which we have asked from Him” (1 John 5:14-15).

Praying Hands    Biblically, there are several reasons why God does not answer the prayer of believers: lack of faith (Jam. 1:5-8), worship of other gods (Jer 1:16; 11:12-14), failure to take in Bible teaching (Prov 1:24-31; 28:9; Zech 7:11-13), selfishness (Jam 4:2-3), carnality (Psa 66:18; Mic 3:4; Isa 1:15; 59:1-3), lack of harmony in the home (1 Pet 3:7), pride and self-righteousness (Job 35:12-13), and lack of obedience (Deut 1:43-45; 1 John 3:22; 5:14). All of these failings can be corrected as the believer learns God’s Word and lives obediently by faith. Failure to learn God’s Word and/or apply it results in self-harm, much like a child who will not listen to her parents, but repeatedly keeps reaching for the hot flame because it’s pretty. God’s commands are designed to bring blessing, either by teaching us to avoid that which is harmful, or to pursue that which is helpful.

     The apostle Paul reveals a situation when God refused to answer his prayer. Paul was struggling with something he called his “thorn in the flesh” (2 Cor 12:7). We don’t know what it was, except that it caused him great hardship. Paul asked God to take it away, saying, “I implored the Lord three times that it might leave me” (2 Cor. 12:8). Paul uses the Greek verb παρακαλέω parakaleo, which in this context means “to make a strong request for something.”[8] Paul was pleading with God to remove his problem, but God said no. The Lord had a reason for it to be there, and He told Paul, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness” (2 Cor 12:9a). Paul did not like being weak. He did not like feeling helpless about this thing that caused him discomfort. But Paul’s thorn, however difficult it was to him, kept him close to God, and that’s what God wanted. It’s as though God were telling Paul, “Paul, I know you don’t like your suffering, but the very thing you don’t like is what keeps you close to me, and the strength of our fellowship is more important than the alleviation of your discomfort.” Suffering is our friend when it keeps up humble and close to God. When Paul understood this, his attitude changed, and he accepted his suffering and praised God for it. Paul said, “Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ’s sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong” (2 Cor 12:9-10). This is a faith response, for it could never be born out of our emotions.

Summary

     Prayer is a blessing we enjoy as believers as we can come before God’s throne of grace and make requests. As Christians, we are to “pray at all times in the Spirit” (Eph. 6:18), and to “pray without ceasing” (1 Th 5:17; cf. Luke 18:1; Rom 12:12; Col 4:2). As we advance toward spiritual maturity, God will occupy our thoughts in all matters, and prayer will come more and more naturally. And, like Moses, we will seek God’s interests above our own and pray according to His will.

Dr. Steven R. Cook

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[1] Scripture reveals, “Whatever the LORD pleases, He does, in heaven and in earth, in the seas and in all deeps” (Ps. 135:6), for “He does according to His will in the host of heaven and among the inhabitants of earth” (Dan 4:35), declaring, “My purpose will be established, and I will accomplish all My good pleasure” (Isa. 46:10).

[2] The most common words in the Bible translated prayer are תְּפִלָּה tephillah (Job 16:17; Ps. 65:2) and προσευχή proseuche (Luke. 19:46; Acts 12:5), which simply speak of the act of prayer. Other words include פָּלַל palal – to intervene as a mediator (Gen. 20:7; Job 42:8), לַחַשׁ lachash – a whispering prayer (Isa. 26:16; 29:4), שָׁאַל shaal – to ask, inquire (Isa. 7:11; 45:11), עָתַר athar – a prayer related to sacrifice (Job 33:26), δέησις deesis – an urgent request (Eph. 6:18), and ἔντευξις enteuxis – simple prayer, childlike prayer (1 Tim. 2:1). The word αἰτέω aiteo is not translated as prayer, but is clearly used when making requests to God (Matt. 7:7; John 14:13).

[3] The general agreement among theologians is that God does not hear the prayers of unbelievers, for they are not God’s children but belong to Satan. Jesus said of unbelieving Jews, “You are of your father the devil” (John 8:44). Logically, one cannot call God his Father if He is not. In another place, a man who had been healed by Jesus said to the Jewish religious leaders, “We know that God does not hear sinners; but if anyone is God-fearing and does His will, He hears him” (John 9:31). However, there does seem to be at least one occasion in which God heard the prayer of an unbeliever who was seeking Him for salvation (e.g. Acts 10:1-2, 30-31; 11:14). It could be that if an unbeliever seeks God for salvation, as Cornelius did, then His prayers for salvation are answered.

[4] Although there is at least one petition in the NT directed to Jesus (Acts 7:59-60).

[5] The Greek preposition ἐν can mean, “in” “by” or “with” the Spirit. Hoehner translates the prepositional phrase ἐν παντὶ καιρῷ ἐν πνεύματι as “at every opportunity or occasion in the Spirit” (Harold Hoehner, Ephesians: An Exegetical Commentary, Grand Rapids, Mich.; Baker Academic, 2002, p. 856). Hoehner further states, “In the immediate context [of Eph. 6:18], praying in the Spirit may well be connected to the sword of the Spirit. The sword of the Spirit is, on the one hand, God’s spoken word to put His enemies to flight and, on the other hand, the believer’s utterance to God in prayer in the power of the Holy Spirit to aid in the struggle against the evil powers” (p. 857).

[6] Imprecatory prayers were valid under the Mosaic Law where obedient Israelites could expect God to dispense justice to their enemies (Deut. 28:7). These types of prayers are not valid for Christians because we are not under the Mosaic Law (Rom. 6:14). We are commanded to pray for our enemies that God will bless them (Matt. 5:44-45; Luke 6:28, 35; cf. Rom. 12:17-21; 1 Thess. 5:15; 1 Pet. 3:9). If God dispenses judgment upon our enemies, He will do so at His discretion and not ours (Rom. 12:17-19; 2 Thess. 1:6).

[7] God’s deliverance was not based on any righteousness found in Israel, for He describes them as a “stubborn” and “rebellious” people who keep defying Him, in spite of His goodness (Deut. 9:6-7).

[8] William Arndt et al., A Greek-English Lexicon of the New Testament and Other Early Christian Literature (Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 2000), 765.