God created human beings with a nervous system before the historic Fall (Gen. 2:7; 3:1-6). The capacity for sensation, arousal, alertness, learning, and rapid response is part of God’s good design (Gen. 1:31). Adam and Eve needed a nervous system to perceive God’s creation, cultivate the garden, exercise dominion over the earth, and enjoy fellowship with their Creator. In Eden there was no danger, violence, disease, fatigue, or death to overwhelm the nervous system. The Fall changed all of that. It introduced a world filled with danger, decay, sin, suffering, and death that continually activates the nervous system and often pushes it into overdrive. The Fall did not create a new nervous system, but it subjected the existing one to corruption and placed it in an environment for which it was never intended. Living in a fallen world rather than Eden, believers must learn to steward their minds and bodies according to God’s word as they navigate life’s pressures. The Christian life, therefore, is not about suppressing the nervous system but about learning, through the renewing of the mind, faith in God’s promises, and wise stewardship of life, to bring physiological arousal under the governing influence of biblical truth. That is good stewardship.
When faced with a crisis, the believer cannot always control the first surge of fear, the automatic startle response, but he is responsible for his cognitive recalibration and volitional response that follows. God designed the human nervous system to react quickly to stimuli. A loud noise, unexpected crisis, or sudden threat may cause the body to flinch, the heart to race, and the mind to momentarily freeze. That initial response is largely involuntary. It is not evidence of spiritual failure but of creaturely physiology functioning in a fallen world. Scripture never condemns the body’s automatic alarm response. When God commands, “Do not fear,” He is not forbidding the involuntary experience of fear. Rather, He is commanding us not to surrender our thinking, decisions, or conduct to fear. Instead, we are to recover quickly by faith, bring our thoughts under the control of God’s word and choose obedience despite heightened emotion. What God addresses is the direction of the mind and will after the initial shock has passed.
This is where spiritual maturity becomes evident. The mature believer learns to recover quickly. Rather than allowing fear to dominate his thinking, he deliberately recalibrates to divine viewpoint. He recalls God’s character, God’s promises, God’s sovereignty, and God’s past faithfulness. Instead of interpreting circumstances through emotion, he interprets emotion and circumstances through God’s word. He answers panic with divine viewpoint. Isaiah said, “You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You” (Isa. 26:3). This cognitive recalibration is an act of faith. It is the conscious and deliberate choice to bring one’s thinking into conformity with biblical truth (Rom. 12:2; 2 Cor. 10:5; Phil. 4:8).
Positive volition and cognition work together in the Christian life. The believer chooses to orient himself to God’s word, and as his thinking is renewed by biblical truth, he is able to obey regardless of lingering emotion. Courage is not the absence of fear but the decision to obey God in spite of it. Joshua undoubtedly experienced fear as he prepared to lead Israel, yet the Lord repeatedly commanded him, “Be strong and courageous…for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go” (Josh. 1:9). Courage is meeting fear with divine viewpoint and choosing obedience. David admitted, “When I am afraid, I will put my trust in You” (Ps. 56:3). He did not say, “If I am afraid,” but, “When I am afraid.” Fear comes to everyone. It is inevitable. How we manage it is optional. David met fear with trust in God. Faith does not necessarily remove fear, but it refuses to let fear have the final word.
In another place, David said, “Fear and trembling come upon me, and horror has overwhelmed me” (Ps. 55:5). Though initially overwhelmed, he worked through his thoughts, reflecting on the danger and betrayal he faced (Ps. 55:6-15), and then recalibrated his thinking to divine viewpoint. Rather than surrendering to fear, he deliberately exercised faith and declared, “As for me, I shall call upon God, and the LORD will save me” (Ps. 55:16). Warren Wiersbe observes, “While it’s normal for us to hope for a quick way of escape, and important for us to understand our feelings and circumstances, it’s far more important to look up to God and ask for His help.” (Warren W. Wiersbe, Be Worshipful, p. 196).
This process should become habitual through daily spiritual training. It is true that you fight like you train, and the more you sweat in training, the less you bleed in battle. God expects believers to manage their lives wisely by balancing work and rest, avoiding needless chronic overstimulation, and progressively strengthening their capacity to endure stress through faithful exposure to life’s normal demands. Spiritual resilience is developed through disciplined training, not by avoiding every difficulty or living in constant overload. Just as soldiers repeatedly rehearse battle drills until their responses become instinctive, believers train themselves through the daily intake of God’s word (Ps. 1:2-3; 1 Pet. 2:2), the disciplined management of their thoughts (Rom. 12:2; 2 Cor. 10:5; Phil. 4:8), prayer (Phil. 4:6-7; 1 Thess. 5:17), faith-rest in God’s promises (Heb. 4:1-3; 11:6), and the consistent application of Bible doctrine to every area of life (Jam. 1:22-25; Heb. 5:14). Every trial becomes an opportunity to strengthen spiritual reflexes and improve response time. Over time, the interval between emotional shock and doctrinal stability grows shorter. The believer still experiences the initial startle response, but he recovers more quickly because his mind has been trained to return to God’s truth. He learns to think biblically even in the midst of heightened emotion.
The practical sequence is simple: Crisis. Startle. Pause. Recall doctrine. Trust God. Obey. The first response belongs largely to physiology; the second belongs to spirituality. The first is automatic; the second is volitional. Spiritual growth does not necessarily diminish the body’s initial alarm response, but it greatly shortens the time required to recover and return to a walk of faith. This is what healthy spiritual recalibration looks like under pressure. The believer’s body may react instinctively, but his renewed mind increasingly governs his will, and his will increasingly submits to the Lord. In this way, he learns to “walk by faith, not by sight” (2 Cor. 5:7).
Steven R. Cook, D.Min., M.Div.
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As Christians, God’s Word directs us not to worry about the future (Prov 12:25; Matt 6:25-34; Luke 12:22-31), to “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God” (Phil 4:6), and to “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you” (1 Pet 5:7). This requires divine viewpoint thinking, disciplined mental focus, and a will to live by faith rather than succumbing to worry. It requires believers to “Watch over your heart with all diligence” (Pro 4:23a), to “destroy speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ” (2 Cor 10:5), and to “keep seeking the things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God” (Col 3:1).
Wise preparation for the future, on the other hand, is marked by prudence and responsibility. It involves making plans based on sound judgment, taking into account potential challenges, and considering how best to address them. Wise preparation is grounded in trust in God’s sovereignty and provision, recognizing that while we plan, we ultimately rely on God for the outcome. Solomon wrote, “The plans of the heart belong to man, but the answer of the tongue is from the LORD” (Prov 16:1). Wise planning is proactive, born not out of fear but from a desire to be a good steward of the resources, time, and opportunities God gives us. Solomon wrote, “The plans of the diligent lead surely to advantage” (Prov 21:5a). The person who wants to build something will “first sit down and calculate the cost to see if he has enough to complete it” (Luke 14:28b). This is wise planning. Wisdom involves thoughtful, intentional action, not anxious fretting over things we cannot control.
Let’s face it: life is not fair. Sometimes it is unfair to our disadvantage, but at other times, it is unfair to our advantage. It is interesting how we are prone to cry foul when life is unfair to our disadvantage but are more than glad to accept and rejoice when it is unfair to our benefit. This inconsistency highlights the human tendency to be self-centered and myopic rather than God-focused and biblically wise. Scripture reminds us that we are all undeserving of God’s goodness, for “There is no one righteous, not even one… for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” (Rom 3:10, 23). If God dealt with us strictly based on fairness, we would face His righteous judgment and eternal separation from Him.
Ultimately, our focus should rest on God’s grace and purposes rather than temporal fairness. His ways are higher than our ways, and His thoughts higher than our thoughts (Isa 55:8-9), and we trust that His actions are always based on perfect wisdom. By keeping our eyes on His grace, we are reminded of the immeasurable blessings we have received, which far outweigh the injustices of life. In all circumstances, we can trust that God is just, merciful, and working all things together for good for those who love Him (Rom 8:28). In everything, we know that “God’s work is perfect, for all His ways are just; a God of faithfulness and without injustice, righteous and upright is He” (Deut 32:4).
In every situation, we should turn to God in prayer, seeking His wisdom and strength to respond appropriately (Jam 1:5), and trust in His sovereignty, knowing that He will bring justice in His perfect timing (Rom 12:19). We are called to be “kindhearted and humble in spirit; not returning evil for evil or insult for insult, but giving a blessing instead” (1 Pet 3:8b–9a). Jesus serves as our ultimate example: “While being reviled, He did not revile in return; while suffering, He uttered no threats, but kept entrusting Himself to Him who judges righteously” (1 Pet 2:23). We are told, “Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, ‘Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,’ says the Lord” (Rom 12:19). God has said, “If you do all that I say, then I will be an enemy to your enemies and an adversary to your adversaries” (Ex 23:22). Furthermore, “it is just for God to repay with affliction those who afflict you, and to give relief to you who are afflicted” (2 Th 1:6b-7a). God is both a defender and a dispenser of justice.
First, it should be noted that God gives every Christian a spiritual gift, which means every believer is called to some level of ministry. Paul wrote, “There are different kinds of spiritual gifts, but the same Spirit is the source of them all…[and] a spiritual gift is given to each of us so we can help each other” (1 Cor 12:4, 7). Peter wrote, “As each one has received a special gift, employ it in serving one another as good stewards of the manifold grace of God” (1 Pet 4:10). Whatever your spiritual gift, whether pastor, teacher, leadership, administration, serving, giving, helps, or mercy (just to name a few), it should be employed to help and bless others. Moreso, ministry relates to everyone, everywhere, all the time. And ministry is evangelistic toward the unsaved, and doctrinally encouraging to the saved. Those whom God calls, He equips to serve, and the blessing of service will edify others. Knowing your specific call to ministry is based largely on desire, ability, conviction, confirmation, and opportunity.
Concerning ability, God will equip those He calls to ministry by giving them a spiritual gift (Rom 12:6-8; Eph 4:11-12). The spiritual gift is the personal possession and responsibility of each believer. If God calls one to be a pastor or teacher, He will provide the means for that man to receive the appropriate education necessary to properly study His Word and communicate it to others, first through the teaching ministry of God the Holy Spirit (John 14:26), and then through others (Acts 18:24-26; 19:9-10). If the spiritual gift is giving, God will bless that believer with the finances to be able to support others, much the way He used several women to financially support Jesus and His apostles (Luke 8:1-3), or the Christians at Philippi to support the apostle Paul (Phil 4:15-18).
Concerning opportunity, Paul reported how God “had opened a door” for him to minister the gospel to Gentiles (Acts 14:27), and how “a wide door for effective service” had opened for him in Ephesus (1 Cor 16:9), and when he came to Traos, he said, “a door was opened for me in the Lord” (2 Cor 2:12). When God calls and equips His children for service, He also provides opportunity. But believers must also recognize there will be times when God, for reasons known only to Him, closes a door of opportunity. Luke recorded an event where Paul and his companions had “been forbidden by the Holy Spirit to speak the word in Asia; and after they came to Mysia, they were trying to go into Bithynia, and the Spirit of Jesus did not permit them” (Acts 16:6-7). But a closed door for ministry might indicate a calling elsewhere, for though Paul had been denied ministry in Asia, afterwards, he’d received a vision about Macedonia (Acts 16:9), and “When he had seen the vision, immediately we sought to go into Macedonia, concluding that God had called us to preach the gospel to them” (Acts 16:10).
The stability of Christians is largely predicated on the biblical content and continuity of their thinking. It is not only what they think, but what they continue to think that provides stability in their souls. When God’s Word—divine viewpoint—flows through their daily thoughts, it enables them to frame life from a divine perspective and respond properly from a position of strength. The more Christians study, memorize, and apply God’s Word, the greater the benefits they will experience in their walk of faith. Achieving this requires positive volition, a commitment to learning, and a willingness to live as obedient-to-the-Word Christians.
Biblically, there will be times when it’s God’s will that you face hardships, such as when Joseph was sold into slavery (Gen 37:23-36; Psa 105:17-19), or Paul suffered as a minister for Christ (2 Cor 11:23-27). During those times of providential difficulty, God wants you to trust that He’s in control of the circumstances of your life and is directing the outcome for good, like He did with Joseph (Gen 45:5, 7, 50:20). Scripture states, “We know God works all things together for good to those who love Him, to those who are called according to His purpose” (Rom 8:28). Therefore, believers are instructed, “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight” (Prov 3:5-6). It is God’s will that you trust His Word and walk by faith, to “Rest in the LORD and wait patiently for Him” (Psa 37:7), and “cast all our anxiety on Him, because He cares for you” (1 Pet 5:7), and “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God” (Phil 4:6). If you do this, then “the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (Phil 4:7).
Discipline of mind—controlling your thoughts—is vital to your walk of faith, for what you focus on shapes your mental and emotional state. Isaiah wrote, “The steadfast of mind You will keep in perfect peace, because he trusts in You” (Isa 26:3). Jeremiah said, “Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD and whose trust is the LORD” (Jer 17:7). In times of trouble, you can take refuge in God, for “The LORD is good, a stronghold in the day of trouble, and He knows those who take refuge in Him” (Nah 1:7). As God’s child, you are called to “take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ” (2 Cor 10:5), and to “set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth” (Col 3:2). If you know and practice these things, you’ll know the peace that comes from the Lord and the walk of faith.
Sometimes hiding from others is a valid response to avoid unnecessary persecution. The believer who operates on wisdom and faith will make the right choice at the right time. Solomon wrote, “The prudent sees the evil and hides himself, but the naïve go on, and are punished for it” (Prov 22:3; cf., Prov 27:12). In this verse, the prudent man is shrewd and sees evil ahead, and by wisdom “hides himself” from harm, but the naïve lack wisdom, advance, and are punished. It’s interesting that the Hebrew word “prudent” is singular, whereas the word “naïve” is plural, perhaps suggesting that the prudent are few, while the naïve are many.
When David was being persecuted by King Saul, who sought to kill him, Jonathan advised David to “stay in a secret place and hide yourself” (1 Sam 19:2). This hiding was valid and preserved David from unnecessary harm. During the reign of Ahab and Jezebel, when Jezebel sought to destroy the prophets of the Lord, Obadiah took a hundred prophets and “hid them” in caves (1 Ki 18:4), and “provided them with bread and water” to help keep them alive (1 Ki 18:4). These were true prophets, for false prophets would not have feared Ahab and Jezebel’s hostility.
The English words disciple and discipline are linguistically related terms, revealing an important connection between the two concepts.
Discipleship requires dedication and self-sacrifice. Jesus said, “If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross and follow Me” (Matt 16:24), and “Whoever does not carry their own cross and come after Me cannot be My disciple” (Luke 14:27). The cross symbolizes self-denial and total commitment to God’s will. When Jesus commands us to deny ourselves and take up our cross, He calls us to surrender our personal desires, ambitions, and even our very lives to follow Him. Jesus’ own cross represented His ultimate obedience to the Father, leading to His sacrificial death for our salvation (Mark 10:45; John 12:32-33; 1 Cor 15:3-4). The cross was both an instrument of suffering and the means by which He accomplished God’s plan of salvation for everyone.
Discipline, in the Bible, is twofold: God disciplines us as His children, and we are to be self-disciplined. God’s discipline is His ongoing correction and training that results in His people living righteous lives that conform to His character and will. The key OT terms for discipline are the verb yasar (יָסַר) and the noun musar (מוּסָר). Yasar means “to instruct…to chastise, rebuke…to teach, bring up.”
God trains us to be self-disciplined, teaching us to exercise “self-control” (1 Cor 9:25-27; Gal 5:22-23) and to be fully committed to learning His Word, which is “profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness” (2 Tim 3:16). Self-discipline is shown in the daily application of God’s Word to all aspects of our lives (whether in marriage, family, work, education, or finances). It requires focus, effort, dedication of time and resources, and the ability to resist distractions that pull us away from our walk with the Lord. As we mature, we are marked by a disciplined life of Bible study (2 Tim 2:15; 3:16-17; 1 Pet 2:2) and biblical meditation that recalibrates our minds to think with divine viewpoint (Psa 1:2; Rom 12:1-2), constantly being “nourished on the words of the faith and of sound doctrine” (1 Tim 4:6). In our advance to maturity, we directed to “walk by faith and not by sight” (2 Cor 5:7; cf. Heb 10:38), to be “doers of the word, and not merely hearers” (Jam 1:22), to “rejoice always” (1 Th 5:16), to “pray without ceasing” (1 Th 5:17), and to pursue “goodness and righteousness and truth, trying to learn what is pleasing to the Lord” (Eph 5:9-10). These are just a few things that characterize mature believers who practice biblical self-discipline. Ultimately, God’s purpose in this discipline is to shape us into the likeness of Christ, “to become conformed to the image of His Son” (Rom 8:29). Our journey of discipleship involves growing in Christ, and discipline is the ongoing process that guides and sustains that journey.
Under the Mosaic Law, the transmission and teaching of God’s Word to subsequent generations was primarily the responsibility of the parents who served as conduits through which God’s law was passed down to children. The instruction to parents was, “These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up (Deut 6:6-7). The phrase, “teach them diligently,” translates the Hebrew verb “shanan” (שָׁנָן), which means “to engrave or chisel on stone.” The verb is in the Piel stem, which makes it intensive (i.e., teach diligently). Here, the tongue of the parents is likened to a chisel they keep applying to their children’s minds in order to engrave God’s Word into their thinking (cf., Prov 6:20-23). Where and when was this activity of training to take place? Moses said, you “shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up” (Deut 6:7b). “Sitting” suggests times of rest, and “walking” speaks of activity. When you “lie down” suggests evening time, and when you “rise up” suggests the morning hours. These form a double merism which encompass of all of life. In this way, Deuteronomy is aimed at subsequent generations, that they might learn God’s will and faithfully transmit it to their children, who will pass it along to their children, and so on.
There is similar instruction in the NT where Paul directed Christians fathers to raise their children “in the discipline and instruction of the Lord” (Eph 6:4). Hoehner notes, “the training and admonition come from the Lord or are prescribed by the Lord through fathers.”
In the New Testament, prophets were not only those who received direct revelation from God but also served as teachers of His Word. Their role involved both the foretelling of future events (Acts 11:27-28; 21:10-11) and the forth-telling or proclamation of God’s truth, which included explaining and applying existing Scripture. This dual function meant that prophets also acted as teachers in the early church, helping believers understand doctrine and the teachings of Christ. The role of prophets as teachers is seen in passages like 1 Corinthians, where Paul said, “One who prophesies speaks to men for edification and exhortation and consolation” (1 Cor 14:3), which were all aspects of instruction and spiritual growth. Prophets, by God’s guidance, helped to build up the church, teaching what had already been revealed in Scripture while also giving inspired messages. Their role was critical before the completion of the New Testament, as they served as communicators of God’s will and truth, similar to how teachers expound upon Scripture today. Hoehner notes, “New Testament prophets were gifts to the church to provide edification, exhortation, and comfort (1 Cor 14:3). They probably revealed God’s will to the church when the biblical canon was incomplete. Since the apostles and prophets were foundational, they did not exist after the first generation of believers.”
Evangelists in the Bible were primarily focused on proclaiming the gospel and sharing the good news of Jesus Christ, but their role also included teaching. Evangelists were responsible for bringing the message of salvation to unbelievers and helping new converts understand the basics of the Christian faith. In Ephesians 4:11, evangelists are among the list of communication gifts—or gifted persons—God has provided to His church. This shows that their role, like the others listed, was to build up and strengthen the church (Eph 4:12). Evangelists did not just preach a simple message of salvation; they would have needed to teach the foundational truths of the gospel and explain what it meant to live as a disciple of Christ. Philip the evangelist is a good example. In Acts 8, he not only preached the gospel to the Ethiopian eunuch but also explained the meaning of Isaiah 53 and taught about Jesus (Acts 8:26-34). When the eunuch asked Philip about Isaiah 53:7-8, we’re told, “Then Philip opened his mouth, and beginning from this Scripture he preached Jesus to him” (Acts 8:35). Philip’s role in that encounter included teaching, since he had to guide the eunuch in understanding Scripture.
Christians have the individual responsibility of studying God’s Word directly as well as through gifted teachers. This will help advance their spiritual life to they can grow to maturity (2 Tim 2:15; Heb 5:12-14; 1 Pet 2:2; 2 Pet 3:18). They are personally accountable to God for what they learn and how they live. If Christians can find a good Bible teacher and learn from him, they are blessed. However, no Bible teacher is perfect in his teaching, so Christians must be like the Bereans, “examining the Scriptures daily” (Acts 17:11) to verify the teaching is biblical. Furthermore, spiritual growth is a gradual process that requires discipline, perseverance, and a commitment to moving beyond the basics of the faith. The goal is to reach spiritual maturity, reflecting the fullness of Christ, which prepares believers for effective service and eternal rewards.
Integrity is the currency of a healthy relationship, but only among those who value it. It is the fruit of a morally upright heart that practices honesty, loyalty, and justice (Psa 15:1-5; Prov 19:1; 28:6; Mic 6:8). Without integrity, trust is compromised, communication suffers, and the stability of the relationship is jeopardized. Duplicity stands in stark contrast to integrity. While integrity involves honesty, loyalty, and adherence to moral principles, duplicity embodies deceit, unfaithfulness, and self-interest above the interests of others. Immoral people care nothing for integrity; therefore, they cannot be trusted.
Despite his firm stance, Potiphar’s wife persisted. One day, when Joseph was alone in the house, she grabbed him by his cloak and again tried to seduce him. Joseph fled, leaving his cloak behind (Gen 39:12). Angered by his rejection, Potiphar’s wife falsely accused Joseph of trying to assault her, leading to his imprisonment. Even though Joseph’s integrity resulted in unjust punishment, God was with him, and he eventually rose to prominence in Egypt, becoming second in command to Pharaoh (Gen 41:39-41). His faithfulness and integrity not only preserved his character but also positioned him to save his family and many others during a severe famine. Joseph’s story illustrates the importance of maintaining integrity, even when faced with temptation and the potential for severe consequences. His commitment to doing what was right in God’s eyes, despite the personal cost, serves as a powerful example of godly character.
Having Christian integrity does not mean we become sinless. As Christians, we still possess our fallen natures, live in a fallen world, and face temptations and attacks from various sources that seek to undermine our walk with God. Even the godliest of saints, such as Moses, David, Peter, and John, committed sin. The reality is that there will be times when we fail to model integrity, when we fail to keep our word—both to the Lord and to others. However, relapse does not have to mean collapse, for if there is humility, we can come before God’s “throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need” (Hebrews 4:16). If we confess our sins to Him, “He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9). God desires that we model integrity so that our character and life align with His righteous standards as revealed in Scripture. Developing godly integrity is the pursuit of a lifetime, requiring us to make moment-by-moment choices to submit ourselves to God, to learn and live His Word, to be honest with others, to speak the truth in love, and to keep our promises to others, even when the cost is great. As Christians who desire to serve the Lord, may we rise to pursue such an honorable life, for God’s glory and the benefit of others.
I tried to reason with her on multiple occasions about work-related matters, but she wouldn’t listen and appeared closed-minded. She then began a process of elimination by marginalizing me, ignoring me in person, and in public settings. This tactic made me feel isolated, devalued, and unsupported, which felt like a betrayal and was very demoralizing. Her acts of rejection, ignoring me, and social isolation were very painful and caused me to experience psychological and emotional disequilibrium. Her lack of communication created uncertainty, making me feel insecure about my job status, performance, and future with the company. Her betrayal as a trusted supervisor hurt me. Biblically, David experienced the pain of betrayal, lamenting, “My friend, the one I trusted completely, the one who shared my food, has turned against me” (Psalm 41:9). Even Jesus “was deeply troubled” when Judas was about to betray Him (John 13:21). As people, none of us are exempt from the hurt caused when a trusted person turns against us for no good reason.
My first course of action was to reprioritize my life and give attention to what mattered most. The years of dealing with a toxic boss had negatively impacted my marriage. After reflecting on my situation at work, I decided to step down from my position and assume a lesser role that removed me from daily interaction with my supervisor. I had to take a cut in pay, but I thought it was necessary given my painful circumstances at work. The subsequent separation from my boss was healthy, as it removed me from the line of fire. It took me a few months to recalibrate my thoughts and feelings, but after seeking medical help and digging deeply into God’s Word, the dark clouds rolled away, and the sun began to shine again in my life. What follows are some of the practices I employed during my time of dealing with a toxic boss, and these continue to be part of my daily routine.
Meditate on God’s Word. David wrote of the righteous person who delights “in the law of the LORD, and in His law he meditates day and night” (Psa 1:2; cf. Josh 1:8). Elsewhere it is written, “O how I love Your law! It is my meditation all the day” (Psa 119:97). Paul wrote, “Let the word of Christ richly dwell within you, with all wisdom teaching and admonishing one another with psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with thankfulness in your hearts to God” (Col 3:16). Meditating on Scripture involves more than just reading it. It encompasses a consistent practice of engaging with the text, allowing its teachings to permeate the mind. This process includes regularly reading passages from the Bible and taking time to ponder their meanings and implications. Throughout the day, meditation on Scripture encourages reflection on how its principles apply to daily life. This practice helps integrate biblical wisdom into everyday living and supports spiritual growth. This was essential for me during this difficult time.
Live by faith. I understand the Christian life starts and ends with faith, which provides stability for my soul during difficult times. God said, “My righteous one shall live by faith” (Heb 10:38a). I need to trust God at His Word, claiming His promises and obeying His directives. Scripture teaches me to “walk by faith, not by sight” (2 Cor 5:7) and to “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight” (Prov 3:5-6). As a Christian, I need to “trust in Him at all times” (Psa 62:8a) because “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble” (Psa 46:1). My challenge was to make sure my faith was greater than my feelings.
Pray for leadership. God’s Word directs me to pray for leaders, and I made it a discipline to pray for my boss on a daily basis. Paul wrote, “I urge that entreaties and prayers, petitions and thanksgivings, be made on behalf of all men, for kings and all who are in authority, so that we may lead a tranquil and quiet life in all godliness and dignity” (1 Tim 2:1-2). Praying for leadership is an act of faith and obedience to God, even though a leader may be unjust. I did not approve of my supervisor’s values and practices, but I did not hate her either. I chose to pray for her and to seek God’s best in her life.
Realize God uses difficulties to develop my character. God sometimes places me in the furnace of affliction to burn away the dross of weak character and to refine the golden qualities He wants to see in me. And whenever He turns up the heat, He never takes His hand off the thermostat. My response is always to be one of faith, as I trust Him in the trial. Paul wrote, “we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope” (Rom 5:3-4). To “rejoice” in problems is surely an act of faith. James wrote similarly, saying, “Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance; and let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be mature and complete, lacking in nothing” (Jam 1:2-4). My faith was not always as strong as I would have liked, and there were times when darkness invaded my soul. Still, I learned to apply these verses to my boss and situation and, over time, grew stronger.
Let God deal out retribution. It is valid for Christians to operate from a place of justice, but never revenge. Scripture states, “Do not say, ‘I will repay evil;’ wait for the LORD, and He will save you” (Prov 20:22). It also says, “Never pay back evil for evil to anyone. Respect what is right in the sight of all men. If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men. Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God” (Rom 12:17-19a). Additionally, it is written, “See that no one repays another with evil for evil, but always seek after that which is good for one another and for all people” (1 Th 5:15). Peter wrote, “All of you be harmonious, sympathetic, brotherly, kindhearted, and humble in spirit; not returning evil for evil or insult for insult, but giving a blessing instead; for you were called for the very purpose that you might inherit a blessing” (1 Pet 3:8-9). God will dispense justice in His time and way, as Paul states, “It is only just for God to repay with affliction those who afflict you, and to give relief to you who are afflicted” (2 Th 1:6-7). I chose to operate from a divine viewpoint and to place the matter in God’s hands, letting Him administer justice as He sees fit.
Forgive the offender. I chose to forgive my boss, even though she did not apologize or change her behavior. I think of the words of Jesus, who said, “But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins” (Matt 6:15). It’s interesting that Jesus prayed for those who crucified Him, saying, “Father, forgive them” (Luke 23:34). This did not remove the guilt of His attackers but did express the heart of Jesus toward those who harmed Him. Wanting to be like my Savior, I chose to have a forgiving heart toward my boss. Unconditional forgiveness benefits me personally, for holding on to unforgiveness is like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies. It doesn’t work out very well for me.
Take time to rest and pray. As a caregiver, it’s important that I make time to rest and pray, for I cannot pour from an empty vessel. Even Jesus, during His earthly ministry, made time to get away by Himself to rest and pray. In Luke’s Gospel, we’re told, “Jesus Himself would often slip away to the wilderness and pray” (Luke 5:16), and “He went off to the mountain to pray, and He spent the whole night in prayer to God” (Luke 6:12; cf. Matt 14:23). Making time for rest is a necessity for good mental health. Lewis Sperry Chafer wrote, “It is a serious thing to remove the element of relaxation and play from any life. We cannot be normal physically, mentally, or spiritually if we neglect the vital factor in human life. God has provided that our joy shall be full” (Lewis S. Chafer, He That Is Spiritual, p. 61).
Shrewdness is a quality that God’s people should possess. By shrewdness, I mean possessing divine wisdom that leads to thoughtful, wise, and sensible behavior. In the NT, Jesus instructed His disciples, saying, “I send you out as sheep in the midst of wolves; so be shrewd as serpents and innocent as doves” (Matt 10:16). In this perilous world filled with potential harm from wolf-like individuals, Christians are urged not to adopt a similar aggressive stance or conform to worldly standards. Unlike wolves, who hunt for self-interest, believers are called to emulate the traits of sheep and innocent doves—animals that pose no threat and actively avoid unnecessary conflict. As followers of Christ, our role is that of peacemakers rather than troublemakers. Despite the dangers and hostile forces at play in the world, Jesus doesn’t remove us from the environment but advises us to be “shrewd as serpents” (Matt 10:16b). The word shrewd translates the Greek adjective phronimos (φρόνιμος), which pertains to “understanding associated with insight and wisdom, sensible, thoughtful, prudent, wise.”
Being a godly servant glorifies God, benefits others in their walk with the Lord, and helps us advance to spiritual maturity. Having a servant’s heart is in line with that of our Lord, Jesus Christ, who said, “For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many” (Mark 10:45). Jesus, when speaking to His disciples, said, “The kings of the Gentiles lord it over them; and those who have authority over them are called ‘Benefactors.’ But it is not this way with you, but the one who is the greatest among you must become like the youngest, and the leader like the servant” (Luke 22:25-26). Paul wrote, “For you were called to freedom, brethren; only do not turn your freedom into an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another” (Gal 5:13). And Peter wrote, “As each one has received a special gift, employ it in serving one another as good stewards of the manifold grace of God” (1 Pet 4:10). No greater picture of servanthood can be found than when Jesus, the King of kings and Lord of lords became the Servant of servants and washed the disciples’ feet (John 13:1-17). But service to others can happen only when they are open to receiving what is offered. Jesus offered truth and love and grace to others (John 1:14; 14:6), but He was rejected by the majority of those who saw and heard Him (John 1:11; 3:19; 5:39-40; 12:37; Matt 23:37). Being a Christian servant means being obedient to God first, following His Word and walking with Him. Below are a few examples of what being a Christian servant does not mean:
Concerning our use of time, Paul wrote, “Be careful how you walk, not as unwise men but as wise, making the most of your time, because the days are evil” (Eph 5:15-16). Paul starts this instruction with the Greek verb βλέπω blepo, which the NASB translates as be careful. The Greek word basically denotes perception with the eye, but here refers to one’s mental state of alertness which, according to Louw & Nida, means “to be ready to learn about future dangers or needs, with the implication of preparedness to respond appropriately, to beware of, to watch out for, to pay attention to.”
God shows a certain amount of favor, or grace, to everyone, including the righteous and the wicked. Jesus revealed, “For He causes His sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous” (Matt 5:45). This is the goodness God shows to all mankind regardless of their character. However, though the evil and unrighteous encounter God’s favor, it does not change them. Isaiah explained, “Though the wicked is shown favor, he does not learn righteousness; he deals unjustly in the land of uprightness, and does not perceive the majesty of the LORD” (Isa 26:10). Apart from the general favor God shows to all mankind, there is a special favor He shows to some. In the case of special favor, God either directly blesses someone, or creates a favorable disposition in the hearts of others, even unbelievers, so that they treat His people with exceptional kindness (Prov 21:1).