When Judas came to betray Jesus, the Lord looked at him and, in a final act of grace, called him “friend” (Matt 26:50). Amazing. It was one of the most tender and tragic moments in all of Scripture. Jesus wasn’t blind to Judas’ intentions—He had already told the disciples that one of them would betray Him, and He knew exactly who it was (John 13:21-27). Yet when the traitor came with a kiss, Jesus met him not with anger, but with grace.
The word “friend” (ἑταῖρος hetairos) refers to a familiar companion or fellow-associate. For Jesus to employ this term meant the door of grace was open for Judas, even in the final hour. Jesus didn’t need to say much. Sometimes one word can be a sermon. In calling him “friend,” Jesus was offering Judas one last opportunity to change his mind, to step back from the ledge. Radmacher notes, “Even though He knew Judas’s wicked heart and actions, Jesus offered him friendship and an opportunity to change his mind.” (Earl D. Radmacher, Nelson’s New Illustrated Bible Commentary, 1196). Sadly, Judas had already made up his mind. Walvoord states,
Why, indeed, would one who heard the matchless sermons of Jesus and witnessed hundreds of miracles turn away from such a wonderful person? Such is the hardness of the human heart and the blinding of satanic influence that one who had every reason to trust in Christ and had been blessed as no unsaved man had ever been blessed, would persist in his hardness of heart and unbelief. Judas, like Pharaoh of old, had gone beyond the point of no return. (John F. Walvoord, Matthew: Thy Kingdom Come, 220).
How heartbreaking it is to be close to Jesus—close enough to kiss Him—and still be lost. Jesus loved Judas (John 13:1), served him, washed his feet (John 13:5), and offered him bread (John 13:26). But love does not force itself. Grace always gives space for a response. Sadly, Judas took the kiss and walked into the night (John 13:30). And still, Jesus stayed true to His mission, never once stepping out of character. He showed us that even in betrayal, love speaks the final word.
As followers of Christ, we are called to model the same grace Jesus showed—even to those who betray us. He didn’t let Judas’ treachery change His character, and neither should we let others’ failures harden our hearts. Jesus taught us to “love your enemies… so that you may be sons of your Father… for He causes His sun to rise on the evil and the good” (Matt 5:44-45). This is common grace—God’s kindness to all, regardless of merit—and we reflect His heart when we do the same. Sometimes the greatest testimony isn’t in what we say, but in how we treat those who wound us. Like Jesus, may we be willing to say “friend” even in the face of betrayal, offering grace not because it’s earned, but because it flows from the One who lives in us (Gal 2:20; Eph 4:32).
Dr. Steven R. Cook
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