The Holy Spirit fills us to accomplish His will (Eph. 5:18). The filling of the Holy Spirit simply means He controls, influences or directs us as we yield to Him and are willing to accomplish His will according to Scripture.
And do not get drunk with wine, for that is dissipation, but be filled with the Spirit. (Eph. 5:18)
When a person consumes alcohol and gets drunk, eventually it influences his thinking, words, and behavior in an obvious and often negative manner. The Bible does not condemn drinking wine, but it does condemn drunkenness, in which the believer loses control of himself. Drunkenness is sin. In contrast to being drunk, the Bible commands the believer to “be filled with the Spirit.”
“Be filled with the Spirit” is God’s command, and He expects us to obey. The command is plural, so it applies to all Christians and not just to a select few. The verb is in the present tense—“keep on being filled”—so it is an experience we should enjoy constantly and not just on special occasions. And the verb is passive. We do not fill ourselves but permit the Spirit to fill us. The verb “fill” has nothing to do with contents or quantity, as though we are empty vessels that need a required amount of spiritual fuel to keep going. In the Bible, filled means “controlled by.” “They… were filled with wrath” (Luke 4:28) means “they were controlled by wrath” and for that reason tried to kill Jesus. “The Jews were filled with envy” (Acts 13:45) means that the Jews were controlled by envy and opposed the ministry of Paul and Barnabas. To be “filled with the Spirit” means to be constantly controlled by the Spirit in our mind, emotions, and will…But how can a person tell whether or not he is filled with the Spirit? Paul stated that there are three evidences of the fullness of the Spirit in the life of the believer: he is joyful (Eph. 5:19), thankful (Eph. 5:20), and submissive (Eph. 5:21–33). Paul said nothing about miracles or tongues, or other special manifestations.
As a Christian, I don’t ask the Spirit to fill me, as that’s what He already wants to do; rather, I submit to God and walk in the light of Scripture and trust the Spirit to guide and empower me.
The work of the Holy Spirit in filling the believer may be simply defined as that ministry which is accomplished in the believer when he is fully yielded to the indwelling Holy Spirit. Every reference to the filling of the Holy Spirit indicates a spiritual condition on the part of the person filled which is brought about by the complete control of the Spirit.
The Spirit wants to fill me and accomplish His will in my life, but I must be yielded to Him, willing to let Him guide me according to Scripture. There must be an active submission on my part to say “yes” to what the Spirit wants to accomplish in my life, otherwise I’m resisting Him.
To be filled with the Spirit is to have the Spirit fulfilling in us all that God intended Him to do when he placed Him there. To be filled is not the problem of getting more of the Spirit: it is rather the problem of the Spirit getting more of us. We shall never have more of the Spirit than the anointing which every true Christian has received. On the other hand, the Spirit may have all of the believer and thus be able to manifest in him the life and character of Christ. A spiritual person, then, is one who experiences the divine purpose and plan in his daily life through the power of the indwelling Spirit. The character of that life will be the out-lived Christ. The cause of that life will be the unhindered indwelling Spirit (Ephesians 3:16-21; II Corinthians 3:18).
Charles Ryrie states:
To be filled with the Spirit means to be controlled by the Spirit. The clue to this definition is found in Ephesians 5:18 where there is contrast and comparison between drunkenness and Spirit-filling. It is the comparison which gives the clue, for just as a drunken person is controlled by the liquor which he consumes, so a Spirit-filled Christian is controlled by the Spirit. This will cause him to act in ways which are unnatural to him, not implying that such ways will be erratic or abnormal, but asserting that they will not be the ways of the old life. Control by the Spirit is a necessary part of spirituality.
For the apostle Paul, the most obvious sign of being filled with the Spirit is the manifestation that follows. After giving the command to be filled with the Spirit, the apostle Paul then states that Christians are to be:
speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody with your heart to the Lord; always giving thanks for all things in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ to God, even the Father” (Eph. 5:19-20).
The spiritual Christian tends to have a song in his heart and an attitude of thankfulness toward God. This does not mean he cannot experience genuine grief or sorrow, or at times be angry while filled with Spirit. Certainly Jesus got angry and experienced sorrow, and He was spiritual in everything. However, as we follow Paul’s instructions in his letter to the Ephesians, the filling of the Spirit is followed by praise and thanksgiving in the believer. (Article taken from my book: The Christian Life, pages 71-75)
Dr. Steven R. Cook
The Filling of the Holy Spirit – by John F. Walvoord
What does it mean to be filled with the Holy Spirit? – compellingtruth.org
 Warren Wiersbe, The Bible Exposition Commentary: New Testament, Vol. 2 (Colorado Springs, Col., Victor Publishing, 2001), 48.
 John F. Walvoord, The Holy Spirit (Grand Rapids, MI., Zondervan Publishing, 1977), 192.
 Lewis S. Chafer, He that is Spiritual (Grand Rapids, Mich. Zondervan Publishing, 1967), 43-44.
 Charles C. Ryrie, “What is Spirituality?” Bibliotheca Sacra 126 (1969): 206.