Choosing a Righteous Life and Righteous Friends

BibleThe Bible repeatedly emphasizes the importance of choosing a righteous life and righteous friends. Solomon wrote, “The righteous choose their friends carefully, but the way of the wicked leads them astray” (Prov 12:26 NIV). Elsewhere, Solomon said, “He who walks with wise men will be wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm” (Prov 13:20). The word walk translates the Hebrew verb הָלַךְ halak, which here refers to “a lifestyle, [or] a pattern of conduct.”[1] Our lifestyle is influenced by our friends, who reinforce our path, either for good or harm. The one who chooses wise friends will gain wisdom and be blessed. A wise person—biblically speaking—is one who fears the Lord (Prov 1:7a), whereas, “fools despise wisdom and instruction” (Prov 1:7b). The wise person receives “instruction in wise behavior, doing what is right, just, and fair” (Prov 1:3), and this according to the standard of God’s Word. Simply stated, the biblically wise person is the one who learns and lives God’s Word on a regular basis. Jesus said, “everyone who hears these words of Mine and acts on them, may be compared to a wise man who built his house on the rock” (Matt 7:24).

There is a danger in choosing foolish friends, for the one who befriends a fool will end a fool, and this with injury. Jesus said, “Everyone who hears these words of Mine and does not act on them, will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand” (Matt 7:26). Dwight Pentecost states, “A fool is not necessarily one who is marked by a low IQ but one who leaves God out of his consciousness…The fool is the man who does not take God into consideration in every area of his life.”[2] Merrill F. Unger adds, “The ‘fool’ is not so much one lacking in mental powers, as one who misuses them; not one who does not reason, but reasons wrongly. In Scripture the ‘fool’ primarily is the person who casts off the fear of God and thinks and acts as if he could safely disregard the eternal principles of God’s righteousness (Psa 14:1; Prov 14:9; Jer 17:11; etc.).”[3]

Path of RighteousnessAs Christians, we choose what paths we take. Biblically, there is a righteous path and a wicked path, and we must choose the former and avoid the latter. David wrote, “Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked, nor stand in the path of sinners, nor sit in the seat of scoffers!” (Psa 1:1; cf. Prov 4:14-17). David generally made good choices throughout his life, and this meant avoiding wicked people. He said, “I do not sit with deceitful men, nor will I go with pretenders. I hate the assembly of evildoers, and I will not sit with the wicked” (Psa 26:4-5). Elsewhere he said, “He who practices deceit shall not dwell within my house; he who speaks falsehood shall not maintain his position before me” (Psa 101:7).

The psalmist also wrote, “I am a companion of all those who fear You, and of those who keep Your precepts” (Psa 119:63). Allen Ross writes, “The psalmist’s loyalty to the LORD also finds expression in his association with other believers—he is a companion (חָבֵר) to all who fear the LORD, meaning those who keep his commandments. The tie that binds the devout together is the commitment to keep God’s commands.”[4] And Charles Spurgeon adds, “We can hardly hope to be right in the future unless we are right now. The holy man spent his nights with God and his days with God’s people. Those who fear God love those who fear him, and they make small choice in their company so long as the men are truly God-fearing.”[5]

In the New Testament we learn about the good choices Christians were making as they “were continually devoting themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer” (Acts 2:42). The words continually devoting themselves translates the Greek word προσκαρτερέω proskartereo, which denotes steadfast commitment and constant devotion. The two things these Christians were constantly devoted to were: 1) the apostle’s teaching, and 2) fellowship with other believers (which included a time of meals and prayer). Here is wisdom.

Christians are to live righteously, as this is consistent with our identity in Christ. The apostle Paul implores us “to walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing tolerance for one another in love” (Eph 4:1-2). Here, our pattern of behavior should mirror our position in Christ. Paul uses similar language when he writes, “You were formerly darkness, but now you are Light in the Lord; walk as children of Light; for the fruit of the Light consists in all goodness and righteousness and truth, trying to learn what is pleasing to the Lord” (Eph 5:6-10). Since we are called to such a high standard of living, it’s very important that we choose our friends carefully, to make sure there is mutual interest in walking with God and living as He directs.

Do not be bound together.pngFor this reason, Paul directed the Christians at Corinth not to associate with people who are committed to live by worldly values. Of the unbeliever, Paul wrote, “Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness?” (2 Cor 6:14). Of the worldly Christian, Paul wrote, “not to associate with any so-called brother if he is an immoral person, or covetous, or an idolater, or a reviler, or a drunkard, or a swindler—not even to eat with such a one. For what have I to do with judging outsiders? Do you not judge those who are within the church?” (1 Cor 5:11-12; cf., Jam 4:4). The general reasoning behind these directives is that “bad associations corrupt good morals” (1 Cor 15:33).

Close relationships should be developed over time, only as we get to know others, hearing their words and watching their ways, and feeling confident they are among the faithful righteous. Some of the characteristics of a righteous person include:

  1. A commitment to learning God’s Word (Psa 1:1-2; Acts 2:42; Rom 6:17).
  2. Submitting to God’s will (Rom 12:1-2; Jam 1:22).
  3. Confessing sin to God daily (1 John 1:9).
  4. Displaying Christian love (John 13:34; Rom 13:8; 1 Th 4:9; 1 Cor 13:4-8a).
  5. Seeking to glorify God (1 Cor 10:31).
  6. Living by faith in order to please the Lord (Heb 10:38; 11:6; 2 Cor 5:9).
  7. Speaking biblical truth in love (Eph 4:15, 25).
  8. Modeling humility, gentleness, patience, tolerance and peace (Eph 4:1-3).
  9. Being forgiving (Matt 18:21-22).
  10. Doing good (Gal 6:10).
  11. Encouraging other believers to do good (Heb 10:24).
  12. Desiring fellowship with growing believers (Heb 10:25).
  13. Praying for others (1 Th 5:17; 2 Th 1:11; Jam 5:16).
  14. Building others up in the Lord (1 Th 5:11).
  15. Being devoted to fellow believers (Rom 12:10).

Choose the righteous life, and choose your friends wisely.

Audio Lesson

Dr. Steven R. Cook

Related Articles:

[1] William D. Mounce, Mounce’s Complete Expository Dictionary of Old & New Testament Words (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2006), 924.

[2] J. Dwight Pentecost, Designed to Be Like Him: Understanding God’s Plan for Fellowship, Conduct, Conflict, and Maturity (Grand Rapids, MI: Kregel Publications, 2001), 55.

[3] Merrill Frederick Unger, R. K. Harrison, Howard Frederic Vos et al., “Fool”, The New Unger’s Bible Dictionary, (Chicago: Moody Press, 1988).

[4] Allen P. Ross, A Commentary on the Psalms (90–150): Commentary, vol. 3, Kregel Exegetical Library (Grand Rapids, MI: Kregel Academic, 2016), 519.

[5] C. H. Spurgeon, The Treasury of David: Psalms 111-119, vol. 5 (London; Edinburgh; New York: Marshall Brothers, n.d.), 257.

Dealing with Fools

The Bible, especially Proverbs, contrasts the wise man with the fool.  Wisdom (Heb hokmah, Grk sophos) is the beneficial instruction necessary for making good choices that agree with God’s Word. The Bible contrasts divine wisdom which comes from God, and worldly wisdom which ultimately comes from Satan (Jam 3:15-17). Divine wisdom is the knowledge necessary to perform a task in conformity with God’s Word. Biblical wisdom is based on God’s revelation in the Bible and leads to moral uprightness. The wise man “will hear and increase in learning, and a man of understanding will acquire wise counsel” (Prov 1:5; 2:5); however, “fools despise wisdom and instruction” (Prov 1:7b). The fool rejects the wisdom of God in Scripture which leads to salvation and righteous living. The fool is friendly toward the world and its philosophies and values that promote human wisdom and accomplishments. According to J. Dwight Pentecost, “A fool is not necessarily one who is marked by a low IQ but one who leaves God out of his consciousness…The fool is the man who does not take God into consideration in every area of his life.”[1] And Merrill F. Unger states:

The word [fool] is used in Scripture with respect to moral more than to intellectual deficiencies. The “fool” is not so much one lacking in mental powers, as one who misuses them; not one who does not reason, but reasons wrongly. In Scripture the “fool” primarily is the person who casts off the fear of God and thinks and acts as if he could safely disregard the eternal principles of God’s righteousness (Ps 14:1; Prov 14:9; Jer 17:11; etc.). Yet in many passages, especially in Proverbs, the term has its ordinary use and denotes one who is rash, senseless, or unreasonable.[2]

The fool, according to Solomon, is a fool by choice and never by chance. He can stop being a fool anytime he is ready to learn and apply God’s Word. He makes himself a fool by the way he thinks, and is identified as a fool by the way he speaks and by his behavior. Over time, folly can be so ingrained into a person that neither kindness nor suffering can remove it. Here are some biblical facts about the fool:

  1. The fool is a fool by choice and never by chance (Prov 1:22-33). “How long, O naive ones, will you love being simple-minded? And scoffers delight themselves in scoffing and fools hate knowledge?” (Prov 1:22). “A fool does not delight in understanding, but only in revealing his own mind” (Prov 18:2; cf. 14:9). He can stop being a fool anytime he’s ready to learn and apply God’s Word.
  2. The fool can be recognized by his outward behavior. “Even when the fool walks along the road, his sense is lacking and he demonstrates to everyone that he is a fool” (Eccl 10:3).
  3. The fool loves to slander others. “He who conceals hatred has lying lips, and he who spreads slander is a fool” (Prov 10:18). Slander is the intentional circulation of a falsehood about another for the purpose of destroying their character.
  4. Wickedness is like a game to the fool, and it thrills him to do evil. “Doing wickedness is like sport to a fool, and so is wisdom to a man of understanding” (Prov 10:23).
  5. Children are naturally bent toward foolishness and the loving parent seeks to discipline it out of them. “Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; the rod of discipline will remove it far from him” (Prov 22:15). “The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child who gets his own way brings shame to his mother” (Prov 29:15).
  6. The foolish child rejects his parent’s discipline. “A fool rejects his father’s discipline, but he who regards reproof is sensible” (Prov 15:5).
  7. Over time, as the fool becomes an adult, his folly becomes entrenched in his heart and he is very resistant to any external pressures to change. “A rebuke goes deeper into one who has understanding than a hundred blows into a fool” (Prov 17:10). “Though you pound a fool in a mortar with a pestle along with crushed grain, yet his foolishness will not depart from him” (Prov 27:22).
  8. The fool is a grief to his father and mother. “A wise son makes a father glad, but a foolish son is a grief to his mother” (Prov 10:1; cf. 15:20). “He who sires a fool does so to his sorrow, and the father of a fool has no joy” (Prov 17:21; cf. 19:13).
  9. The fool ruins his own life and fights against God. “The foolishness of man ruins his way, and his heart rages against the LORD” (Prov 19:3).
  10. Fools like to argue with others without a just cause. “Keeping away from strife is an honor for a man, but any fool will quarrel” (Prov 20:3). It’s better to avoid the fool rather than pursue conflict with him. “When a wise man has a controversy with a foolish man, the foolish man either rages or laughs, and there is no rest” (Prov 29:9; cf. 20:23).
  11. Fools are arrogant and often storm through life without consideration of others. “A wise man is cautious and turns away from evil, but a fool is arrogant and careless” (Prov 14:16).
  12. Those who employ a fool feel the painful effects of his stupidity. “Like an archer who wounds everyone, so is he who hires a fool or who hires those who pass by” (Prov 26:10).
  13. Fools repeat the same ugly acts over and over. “Like a dog that returns to its vomit is a fool who repeats his folly” (Prov 26:11).
  14. Fools have no control of their emotions. “A fool always loses his temper, but a wise man holds it back” (Prov 29:11; cf. 25:28).
  15. Fools pursue worldly pleasure and ruin themselves. “The mind of the wise is in the house of mourning, while the mind of fools is in the house of pleasure” (Eccl 7:4).
  16. The words of the wise are gracious, whereas the words of the fool express wickedness. “Words from the mouth of a wise man are gracious, while the lips of a fool consume him; the beginning of his talking is folly and the end of it is wicked madness” (Eccl 10:12-13).
  17. The person who befriends a fool causes himself harm. “He who walks with wise men will be wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm” (Prov 13:20).

Dealing with the fool:

Wise men often do not answer the fool because he’s not teachable; though there are times the fool needs to be corrected so that his false estimation of himself does not go unchecked. Wise men leave the presence of the fool, as there is no benefit to his company. When one encounters a fool, there are several things one should do depending on the encounter.

  1. Once a fool is identified, do not provoke him, or you will bring grief on yourself. “A stone is heavy and the sand weighty, but the provocation of a fool is heavier than both of them” (Prov 27:3).
  2. Avoid speaking in the presence of a fool, or at least keep your words few. “Do not speak in the hearing of a fool, for he will despise the wisdom of your words” (Prov 23:9). Fools despise wisdom, so they despise those who speak and live by wisdom.
  3. Don’t answer the fool in the midst of his foolishness. “Do not answer a fool according to his folly, or you will also be like him” (Prov 26:4). It is foolish to try to correct the fool.
  4. There are times to address the fool so that he does not think himself wise. “Answer a fool as his folly deserves, that he not be wise in his own eyes” (Prov 26:5). This type of correction does not seek to correct the fool, but only his false estimation of himself. Wisdom discerns when to answer the fool.
  5. Lastly, make the conscious decision to leave the presence of the fool so that you are not infected by his folly. “Leave the presence of a fool, or you will not discern words of knowledge” (Prov 14:7). This is because “the foolishness of fools is deceit” and there is no truth in their speech (Prov 14:8b).

Dr. Steven R. Cook

Related Articles:

[1] J. Dwight Pentecost, Designed to Be Like Him: Understanding God’s Plan for Fellowship, Conduct, Conflict, and Maturity (Grand Rapids, MI: Kregel Publications, 2001), 55.

[2] Merrill Frederick Unger, R. K. Harrison, Howard Frederic Vos et al., “Fool”, The New Unger’s Bible Dictionary, (Chicago: Moody Press, 1988).