Tag Archives: Sacrificial Love

Two Fathers, Two Kingdoms: Understanding Spiritual Identity in a Divided World

Posted on by
Reply

Everyone we meet has two fathers. Everyone.[1] They have a biological father and a spiritual father. Biblically, their spiritual father is either God or Satan. The Pharisees incorrectly thought they were children of God, and said to Jesus, “The only Father we have is God himself” (John 8:41). Here’s an example were perception was not equal to reality. Jesus refuted them, saying, “You are from below, I am from above; you are of this world, I am not of this world” (John 8:23), and “You are of your father the devil, and you want to do the desires of your father” (John 8:44a). According to William Hendriksen, “Identity of inner passions and desires establishes spiritual descent: they are constantly desiring to carry out the wishes of the devil; so he must be their father. The devil desires to kill and to lie, and so do they.”[2] We live in a divided world where “the good seed are the sons of the kingdom; and the tares are the sons of the evil one” (Matt 13:38; cf., 1 John 3:10).

Satan as ruler of this worldThose who are children of Satan are called “sons of disobedience” (Eph 2:2), are under “the dominion of Satan” (Acts 26:18), and reside in his “domain of darkness” (Col 1:13; cf., Rom 2:19). These walk “in the futility of their mind” (Eph 4:17b), and are “darkened in their understanding, excluded from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them, because of the hardness of their heart” (Eph 4:18). Paul said that Satan “has blinded the minds of the unbelieving so that they might not see the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God” (2 Cor 4:4). But these are not unwilling victims; for though they are born into Satan’s kingdom and “held captive by him to do his will” (2 Tim 2:26), they also enjoy what he offers and are said to “love the darkness rather than the Light” (John 3:19). The word love in this passage translates the Greek verb agapao (ἀγαπάω), which is in the active voice and means they willingly love the darkness of Satan’s world system and all their affections are tied to it. They continue as residents of his kingdom by choice and not by chance. Freedom awaits them if they want it. Freedom in Christ. But they don’t want freedom. And when given the opportunity to be liberated from their captor, they prefer to clutch their chains of familiar pleasures and practices than to step into the unknown freedom and responsibilities of liberty in Christ. Jesus said of them, “you are unwilling to come to Me so that you may have life” (John 5:40).

The apostle Paul described them as “men who suppress the truth in unrighteousness” (Rom 1:18), are “without excuse” before God (Rom 1:20), and “Professing to be wise, they became fools, and exchanged the glory of the incorruptible God for an image in the form of corruptible man and of birds and four-footed animals and crawling creatures” (Rom 1:22-23). Of those who are negative and set their wills against God, three times it is written that He “gave them over” to “the lusts of their hearts” (Rom 1:24), and “to degrading passions” (Rom 1:26), and “to a depraved mind, to do those things which are not proper” (Rom 1:28). Once God permits a person to operate by his sinful passions, that person is given a measure of freedom to live as he wants, but not without consequence, both in time and eternity. Furthermore, “God will send upon them a deluding influence so that they will believe what is false, in order that they all may be judged who did not believe the truth, but took pleasure in wickedness” (2 Th 2:11-12).

To say that Satan is someone’s father also means they are his children by imitation. Jesus said of Satan, “He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth because there is no truth in him. Whenever he speaks a lie, he speaks from his own nature, for he is a liar and the father of lies” (John 8:44b). By his actions, Satan became the murderer of souls, directing the first humans into sinful acts that ultimately led to their spiritual death and the enslavement of all mankind (Gen 2:17; 3:1-6; Rom 5:12, 14, 19; 6:23). According to William Hendriksen:

From the very beginning of the history of the human race the devil had murder in his heart, and he actually plunged the human race into the ocean of death, physical, spiritual, and eternal (Rom 5:12; Heb 2:14; 1 John 3:8)…The devil, then, is the very wellspring of lies, the creator of falsehoods (see Gen 3:1, 4; Job 1:9, 10, 11; Matt 4:6, 9; Acts 5:3; 2 Th 2:9, 10, 11). When he lies, he is original. When he does not lie (Acts 16:16, 17), he quotes or even plagiarizes; but even then he gives the borrowed words a false setting, in order to create an illusion. He ever strives to lie and deceive, and this he does in order to murder.[3]

Those who are children of Satan: 1) are spiritually deceived, 2) belong to Satan’s world-system (are of this world), 3) share Satan’s desires, 4) have murder in their hearts, and 5) practice lies and deception to promote their agenda. These persons are generally inclined to harm others spiritually, emotionally, psychologically, or even physically, which endangers the well-being of those near them. As growing Christians, we are to show them love and grace when possible (Matt 5:44-45), but also guard ourselves against their attacks (Acts 20:28; 2 Tim 4:14-15).

Satan is a master strategist who seeks to plant his agents into all organizations whereby they can have a destructive influence on others, especially if they can promote a departure from the Bible and its morals in the NT. These agents of Satan will promote lies, deception, violence, and murder to obtain and retain their places of pride and power. Today, we observe their corrupt influence in the seminaries, government, the press, academic institutions, the military, businesses, sports, entertainment, and society in general. The Christian influence that once guided our country is diminishing, and short of a spiritual awakening, the trend toward evil will only get worse.

As a growing Christian, I am not neutral. I make it a point to study God’s Word every day, walk by faith in the Spirit, speak truth, show love, demonstrate grace, and pray for others (both saints and sinners). If there comes a time when we, as Christians, should face rising persecution, we must be ready. The more time we spend learning God’s Word and walking by faith, the better equipped we will be to stand against attackers who may seek to silence us by whatever means they can.

Bible Promises - 3It is to our benefit to realize we live in a fallen world, and when we walk with God, in total devotion to Christ, the world will reject us. Jesus said, “If the world hates you, you know that it has hated Me before it hated you. If you were of the world, the world would love its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, because of this the world hates you” (John 15:18-19). We understand that the gospel of grace and solid Bible teaching will, on occasion, threaten other people’s pride and power, and we should not be surprised when they react negatively and with hostility, either verbally or physically. If possible, we are to get along with others and pursue peace (Rom 12:18), but never at the price of neglecting our mission to preach the gospel (Mark 16:15), or gather together for Bible study (Acts 2:42; 2 Tim 2:15), fellowship (Heb 10:25), worship (Eph 5:19-20), and prayer (1 Th 5:17). Because we live in a fallen world, there will be times when we must choose whether we will serve God or man. Of course, the correct choice is, “We must obey God rather than men” (Acts 5:29; cf. Dan 3:18). And though we may enjoy periods of peace and blessing, the world is currently under Satan’s control, which means it will only get worse, not better. As Christians, we are both realistic and optimistic about the world and the future. Realistic that we will not win the world to Christ during our time on earth (though not for want of effort by sharing the gospel and Bible teaching), and optimistic because we know Christ is coming back and will make everything right when He returns. Lastly, we must keep our focus on God and His Word (Isa 26:3; Col 3:2, 16), as it provides mental and emotional stability when trouble comes (and it will). Adversity is inevitable, and we must handle it by wisdom and faith.

Mature Christians make it their life’s mission to glorify God by learning and living His Word, to share the gospel of grace with others who will listen, edify others with biblical teaching and godly living, and love others sacrificially with integrity. We say with Paul, “I do not consider my life of any account as dear to myself, so that I may finish my course and the ministry which I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify solemnly of the gospel of the grace of God” (Acts 20:24).

Dr. Steven R. Cook

Related Articles:

[1] Jesus is the sole exception, for by the God the Holy Spirit He was supernaturally conceived in the womb of the virgin Mary and was born without original sin or a sin nature. Furthermore, Jesus lived His entire life in perfect obedience to the Father and committed no sin (2 Cor 5:21; Heb 4:15; 1 Pet 2:22; 1 John 3:5). He said, “I have come down from heaven, not to do My own will, but the will of Him who sent Me” (John 6:38). And when He reached the end of His earthly mission, Jesus said to the Father, “I glorified You on the earth, having accomplished the work which You have given Me to do” (John 17:4).

[2] William Hendriksen and Simon J. Kistemaker, Exposition of the Gospel According to John, vol. 2, New Testament Commentary (Grand Rapids: Baker Book House, 1953–2001), 60.

[3] William Hendriksen and Simon J. Kistemaker, Exposition of the Gospel According to John, vol. 2, (Grand Rapids: Baker Book House, 1953–2001), 60-61.

Beyond Self-Interest: Embracing Disadvantage for the Blessing of Others

Posted on by
Reply

Jesus Healing SickThe more I understand biblical Christianity, the more I think our advance to maturity involves being willingly disadvantaged that others might receive an advantage. To be voluntarily disadvantaged means I am deprived of something so that others might gain an asset, an edge, a benefit, or an opportunity they might not have otherwise. This is charitable on my part, in which I give for the benefit of others. This is how Jesus lived, as He said, “For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many” (Mark 10:45). Jesus voluntarily gave His life on the cross that others might obtain what they could not receive by any other means; forgiveness of sins and eternal life. What was a disadvantage to Him resulted in a benefit to us.

The purpose of Jesus’ sacrifice was to result in forgiveness and salvation to humanity, granting us an advantage or opportunity for eternal life with God. From this perspective, it can be said that Jesus voluntarily assumed a position of disadvantage by taking on human form, enduring suffering, and ultimately sacrificing His life so that we might have an advantage, which is the opportunity for forgiveness, salvation, and reconciliation with God. When we embrace this way of thinking, it will become more natural for us to think of others over self. Paul wrote, “Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others” (Phil 2:3-4).

Too often we ask, “What’s in it for me?” or “What do I get out of this?” When it comes to loving others in the biblical sense, we should not ask what others can do for us, but what we can do for others, that they might be blessed through our sacrifice and service. This way of thinking is completely antithetical to our fallen human natures and the values of the world. What I’m describing is virtue love; a love that is thoughtful, sacrificial, and constantly thinks of how others might be edified, encouraged, or built up in some way. Examples might include giving of our time to arrive early at church to make sure everything is clean before others arrive, or speaking a kind word to a discouraged heart, or giving of our finances to support a growing Christian ministry, or working extra hours to help a coworker succeed, or giving up our lunch hour to mow a widows overgrown yard, or to sacrifice a vacation to help a struggling family with food, rent, or auto repair.

This way of living gives and expects nothing in return. It looks for those who are so impoverished that they cannot repay. Jesus said, “When you give a luncheon or a dinner, do not invite your friends or your brothers or your relatives or rich neighbors, otherwise they may also invite you in return and that will be your repayment. But when you give a reception, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, and you will be blessed, since they do not have the means to repay you; for you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous” (Luke 14:12-14). There’s nothing wrong with entertaining and caring for family and friends; however, we should not be concerned only with these, but also with serving the less fortunate. We should be intentional about helping “orphans and widows in their distress” (Jam 1:27), because it is right in God’s sight to help to the needy. Those who live this way will be “rich toward God” (Luke 12:21), will “store up treasures in heaven” (Matt 6:20), and will hear the words of the Lord, “Well done, good and faithful slave” (Matt 25:21).

Dr. Steven R. Cook

Related Articles:

__

Characteristics of a Controlling Personality

Posted on by
35

Generally, controlling people are self-absorbed and insensitive toward others. They push to get their own way and manipulate circumstances and people to achieve their own agendas. They care mainly about themselves and see others as a means to an end. When feeling threatened, they may resort to unethical behavior to destroy their opponents. They do not understand or appreciate freedom and grace. 

Controlling PersonControlling others involves breaking them down, destroying their self-worth, and degrading them psychologically and emotionally, sometimes even resorting to social and physical abuse. In many cases, controlling individuals lack the capacity to enjoy a mature, loving relationship because their thoughts are consumed with self, and they do not know how to love sacrificially for the benefit of others. They do not know how to love graciously, freely, with an open hand, expecting nothing in return. They give only to get. They may use the word “love,” but it’s only as a means to an end, to serve their own selfish programs and not the well-being of others. People are seen as objects to be manipulated, not individuals to be loved.

These are my observations as I’ve dealt with controlling people over the years. A controlling person can be male or female, religious or irreligious, old or young, rich or poor, educated or uneducated, and belong to any ethnic group. A controlling person may fit some or all of characteristics below. I’ve modified the list a few times, and may make corrections in the future. 

  1. The controlling personalities operate primarily from a base of power, not reason. This first point is very important to understand, for what follows is based on it. Often, we don’t understand the reasoning behind controlling persons’ behavior, when in fact, there is no consistent reason, because reason is not the base of operations; power is. Reason is employed as it benefits them and advances their power. Remember: rational words only work with rational minds, and the controlling personality is not always rational.
  2. Controlling people often like positions of authority (politician, professor, doctor, CEO, pastor, etc.). Being in control of others makes them feel important, powerful, and secure (authority is legitimate, but arrogant people abuse their authority and hurt the innocent). The problem with arrogant people is that they rarely see their own faults, but only the faults of others. Their hubris prevents them from being open to genuine discussion about change. Humble people do not abuse their positions of authority, but see themselves as servant-leaders, open to discussion, correction, and willing to make sacrifices for others (Phil 2:3-4).
  3. Controlling people often will try to destroy your confidence through subtle criticisms that keep you on the defensive, making you feel self-conscious all the time and walking on eggshells. The gradual chipping away at your self-esteem leaves you deflated, feeling insignificant, and eventually makes you feel like you have no value at all (criticism can be valid if it is followed with loving correction that builds the other person up). Scripture teaches we are to encourage one another (1 Th 5:11, 14; Heb 3:13) and build each other up (Rom 14:19), but controlling people prefer only destructive criticism.
  4. Controlling people will sometimes recruit others to help coerce or control you. Sometimes these other people are unsuspecting participants and may not know they are being used to cause harm.[1]
  5. Controlling people will sometimes use your past, or even your weaknesses, against you. This is unfortunate because in any relationship there must be trust, and this means sharing things about your past and perhaps areas where you may struggle. Controlling people will exploit these areas to their own advantage, either to keep you in their grip or to assassinate your character with others.
  6. Controlling individuals, such as bosses, may use ignoring or avoiding tactics to push others away or drive them to quit. By deliberately disregarding attempts to communicate or completely avoiding interactions, they create a sense of frustration and helplessness in their targets. This intentional neglect can make the affected person feel undervalued or insignificant, leading them to withdraw or abandon their efforts. These strategies not only reinforce the controller’s dominance but also manipulate the victim into conforming to their desired outcome, whether it’s stepping back from a relationship, a project, or a specific action.
  7. If threatened, controlling people will at times seek to cut off your friends (isolate you) or try to discredit or destroy your reputation in order to keep you under their controlling influence. The general rule is: what they cannot control, they will seek to destroy (psychologically, emotionally, socially, spiritually, and in some cases physically).
  8. Controlling people are often concerned with their own appearance and with the appearance of those within their grip. This helps them try to control the perception of others beyond their grasp (it’s good to be well dressed, but the emphasis should be on loving character more than appearance).
  9. Controlling people sometimes want to associate with important individuals because this adds to their own image of importance. Relationships are a means to an end, and this should always be kept in mind (sometimes we will know socially important people, but it’s wrong to flaunt our relationships with them for personal gain).
  10. Controlling people will rarely admit they are wrong, even when evidence is provided. This is important because arguing becomes an exercise in futility and frustration (humble individuals will readily admit their faults and be open to loving correction).
  11. Controlling people rarely change (since this requires humility), so it’s better to quietly leave the relationship if possible (especially if you’re in danger of harm). When leaving a controlling relationship, don’t worry about explaining yourself, as they will most likely not understand your words or actions. They will not be happy with your choice, but they’re not happy anyway, so you might as well be free from the controlling influence and seek a more mature relationship.

Broken ChainsThose who have suffered prolonged exposure to controlling people can lose self-confidence and personal joy unless they learn and develop strong coping skills. If good coping skills are developed, those who have suffered can grow and become better rather than bitter. The pursuit of God, wisdom, and good friends can lead to healing, but this takes time. If possible, it’s best to avoid controlling people altogether; however, don’t be rude if/when you encounter them. The Apostle Paul said, “Never pay back evil for evil to anyone. Respect what is right in the sight of all men. If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men” (Rom 12:17-18). Be the better person. Treat them with grace and love, even though they do not show it to you. Seek to grow and be more than what they are to you. For coping skills, please see the related articles below. 

Dr. Steven R. Cook

Related Articles:

  1. The Gospel Explained
  2. Twelve Ways to Deal with a Bad Boss  
  3. Free Grace Salvation
  4. Let God Repay Those Who Hurt You  
  5. Alexander the Coppersmith – Dealing With Hurt  
  6. Biblical Self-Talk  
  7. Commitment Love  
  8. Two Kinds of Forgiveness with People  
  9. A Primer on the Doctrine of Separation  
  10. The Characteristics of a Christian Leader 
  11. What Does it Mean to Be a Man? 
  12. Why Believers Show No Grace  
  13. The Value of Suffering  
  14. Mature Christian Love  
  15. Commitment Love
  16. Bible Promises that Strengthen our Faith  
  17. Dealing with Fools  
  18. Choosing Righteous Friends  
  19. Choose a Christian Spouse  
  20. Love your Enemies  

[1] This happened to me back in 2002 when I was pastoring a Southern Baptist Church in Central Texas. The head deacon was disturbed that I did not perform traditional altar calls at the end of the church service (they are not biblical) and argued with me for hours, trying to force me to comply (it was a very unpleasant experience). When I politely refused, he quietly and quickly spread lies within the congregation and engaged in character assassination. After winning over many unsuspecting church members, he inspired a coup d’etat, and within a few days I was unjustly and forcefully voted out of the church. The control-freak won and the church lost its pastor and a third of the members walked out of the morning service. I was deeply hurt by the matter and still bear scars. Over the years I’ve had other—less traumatic—experiences with controlling church leaders.