The English words disciple and discipline are linguistically related terms, revealing an important connection between the two concepts.[1] A disciple refers to one who is devoted to learning from another, with a commitment to practice their teachings and example. On the other hand, discipline involves the process of mastering what has been learned, with the goal of internalizing the teachings to the point where they shape character and behavior. Ryrie says a disciple is “A follower of a teacher and his teachings,” and discipline is the “training that molds the believer toward Christlikeness.”[2]
Salvation is a free gift, received by faith alone in Christ alone (John 3:16; Rom 6:23; Acts 4:12), and requires no works or payment on our part (Rom 3:28; 4:5; Eph 2:8-9; Gal 2:16). However, our lives as disciples demand sacrifice and a lifelong commitment to spiritual growth and obedience to God (Matt 16:24; 28:19-20; Luke 14:26-33; Rom 12:1-2; Jam 4:7). After we are born again (1 Pet 1:23) and brought into the family of God (John 1:12; Gal 3:26), we are directed to learn and live God’s Word (2 Tim 2:15; 1 Pet 2:2), walk by faith (2 Cor 5:7; Heb 10:38), produce good works (Gal 6:10; Eph 2:10), love one another (1 Th 4:9), serve one another (Gal 5:13), and advance to spiritual maturity (Heb 6:1). This is the lifelong journey of discipleship.
The word disciple translates the Greek noun mathetes (μαθητής), which refers to “one who engages in learning through instruction from another, pupil, apprentice…one who is constantly associated with someone who has a pedagogical reputation or a particular set of views, disciple, adherent.”[3] In the Christian context, a disciple is someone who learns from the Lord (Matt 11:29; John 13:15; Phil 2:5-12), is committed to following Him (Matt 16:24; 28:19-20; Luke 14:26-33), and continues as an obedient-to-the-Word believer (John 14:15, 21; Jam 1:22; 1 John 5:3).
Discipleship requires dedication and self-sacrifice. Jesus said, “If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross and follow Me” (Matt 16:24), and “Whoever does not carry their own cross and come after Me cannot be My disciple” (Luke 14:27). The cross symbolizes self-denial and total commitment to God’s will. When Jesus commands us to deny ourselves and take up our cross, He calls us to surrender our personal desires, ambitions, and even our very lives to follow Him. Jesus’ own cross represented His ultimate obedience to the Father, leading to His sacrificial death for our salvation (Mark 10:45; John 12:32-33; 1 Cor 15:3-4). The cross was both an instrument of suffering and the means by which He accomplished God’s plan of salvation for everyone.
For us, taking up the cross means adopting the same attitude of submission to God and His will. While most of us may not face martyrdom or extreme persecution, discipleship involves a willingness to surrender everything to God, regardless of the cost. This commitment stems from a gratitude for God and a desire to live according to His purposes, even when it requires sacrifice. Jesus’ call to carry the cross is not just about enduring hardship but about aligning our lives with God’s will, even if it means facing suffering, loss, or opposition. This mindset reflects hearts that are fully devoted to the Lord, willing to die to self in order to live for Him.
For some of us, this may involve literal persecution or martyrdom, but for many, it means living with integrity, enduring challenges, and consistently choosing God’s way over worldly temptations and self-interest. Such a radical and lifelong commitment requires each of us to “calculate the cost” of following Jesus (Luke 14:28). To be a devoted disciple of the Lord means surrendering our lives to God. This is never accomplished in the energy of the flesh, but by the filling of the Holy Spirit (Eph 5:18), and walking by means of the Spirit (Gal 5:16).
Divine Discipline and Self-Discipline
Discipline, in the Bible, is twofold: God disciplines us as His children, and we are to be self-disciplined. God’s discipline is His ongoing correction and training that results in His people living righteous lives that conform to His character and will. The key OT terms for discipline are the verb yasar (יָסַר) and the noun musar (מוּסָר). Yasar means “to instruct…to chastise, rebuke…to teach, bring up.”[4] And musar refers “to discipline, as chastisement…discipline that leads to wisdom…training.”[5] In the NT we observe the Greek verb paideuō (παιδεύω) and the noun paideia (παιδεία). Paideuō means “to provide instruction for informed and responsible living, educate…to assist in the development of a person’s ability to make appropriate choices, practice discipline.”[6] And paideia refers to “the act of providing guidance for responsible living, upbringing, training, instruction, chiefly as it is attained by discipline, correction.”[7] In the Septuagint, paideuō is used as a synonym for yasar, and paideia as a synonym for musar.
The Bible contrasts the wicked and foolish, who hate discipline, with the wise, who love it. The wicked are described as those who “hate discipline” (Psa 50:16-17). The fool admits, “How I hated discipline, and how my heart despised correction” (Prov 5:12). Proverbs also states that “whoever hates correction is stupid” (Prov 12:1b) and “he who neglects discipline despises himself” (Prov 15:32a). In contrast, the wise understand that “reproofs for discipline are the way of life” (Prov 6:23), and that “whoever loves discipline loves knowledge” (Prov 12:1a). Therefore, it is advised to “listen to counsel and accept discipline, that you may be wise the rest of your days” (Prov 19:20).
God trains us through His Word (2 Tim 3:16-17), and through painful circumstances that He controls (Heb 12:5-11). His discipline is always “for our good, so that we may share His holiness” (Heb 12:10), and when we have responded properly to the Lord’s training, “afterwards it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness” (Heb 12:11). Ryrie provides several reasons why God’s people receive His discipline, saying, “Discipline is a part of the total educational process by which a believer is fitted to share God’s holiness (Heb 12:10). Discipline is a proof of a genuine love relationship between our heavenly Father and us (Heb 12:6, 8). Discipline helps train us to be obedient (Heb 12:9). Discipline produces the fruit of righteousness in our lives (Heb 12:11).”[8]
God trains us to be self-disciplined, teaching us to exercise “self-control” (1 Cor 9:25-27; Gal 5:22-23) and to be fully committed to learning His Word, which is “profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness” (2 Tim 3:16). Self-discipline is shown in the daily application of God’s Word to all aspects of our lives (whether in marriage, family, work, education, or finances). It requires focus, effort, dedication of time and resources, and the ability to resist distractions that pull us away from our walk with the Lord. As we mature, we are marked by a disciplined life of Bible study (2 Tim 2:15; 3:16-17; 1 Pet 2:2) and biblical meditation that recalibrates our minds to think with divine viewpoint (Psa 1:2; Rom 12:1-2), constantly being “nourished on the words of the faith and of sound doctrine” (1 Tim 4:6). In our advance to maturity, we directed to “walk by faith and not by sight” (2 Cor 5:7; cf. Heb 10:38), to be “doers of the word, and not merely hearers” (Jam 1:22), to “rejoice always” (1 Th 5:16), to “pray without ceasing” (1 Th 5:17), and to pursue “goodness and righteousness and truth, trying to learn what is pleasing to the Lord” (Eph 5:9-10). These are just a few things that characterize mature believers who practice biblical self-discipline. Ultimately, God’s purpose in this discipline is to shape us into the likeness of Christ, “to become conformed to the image of His Son” (Rom 8:29). Our journey of discipleship involves growing in Christ, and discipline is the ongoing process that guides and sustains that journey.
In conclusion, the relationship between discipleship and discipline in the Christian life is essential. As disciples, we are called to learn from the Lord, and faithfully study and live His Word. Discipline, both from God and self-imposed, is part of the refining process that molds us into Christlikeness, training us in righteousness and equipping us to live lives that reflect His holiness. Humble believers embrace discipline as a means to grow in wisdom and maturity, understanding that through correction and obedience, we experience the peaceful fruit of righteousness. Ultimately, both discipleship and discipline are fundamental to a believer’s walk, leading to a life that glorifies God and aligns with His will.
Dr. Steven R. Cook
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[1] The word disciple comes from the Latin discipulus, meaning “learner” or “pupil,” which is derived from discere, “to learn.”
[2] Charles C. Ryrie, So Great Salvation: What It Means to Believe in Jesus Christ (Chicago: Moody Press, 1997), 144.
[3] William Arndt et al., A Greek-English Lexicon of the New Testament and Other Early Christian Literature (Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 2000), 609.
[4] Ludwig Koehler et al., The Hebrew and Aramaic Lexicon of the Old Testament (Leiden: E.J. Brill, 1994–2000), 418-419.
[5] Ibid., 557.
[6] William Arndt et al., A Greek-English Lexicon of the New Testament and Other Early Christian Literature, 749.
[7] Ibid., 748.
[8] Charles C. Ryrie, So Great Salvation: What It Means to Believe in Jesus Christ, 140.
I am confident of my salvation, and this confidence is not based on my own efforts or worthiness but on the unchanging character and promises of God. God is a God of integrity, and His nature guarantees the fulfillment of His Word. As Scripture affirms, “God is not a man, that He should lie, nor a son of man, that He should change His mind. Has He said, and will He not do it? Or has He spoken, and will He not make it good?” (Num 23:19). Unlike humans, who are often subject to inconsistency and failure, God is perfect in truth and faithfulness. His promises are unwavering, and His Word is eternally reliable.
Salvation is never about what I do for God, but what He has done for me at the cross. Jesus is the God-Man (John 1:1, 14), and “in Him all the fullness of Deity dwells in bodily form” (Col. 2:9). The record of Scripture is that Jesus “knew no sin” (2 Cor 5:21), was “without sin” (Heb 4:15), “committed no sin” (1 Pet 2:22), and “in Him there is no sin” (1 John 3:5). In His humanity, Jesus walked in perfect conformity to God the Father’s holy character and divine revelation. And He came into this world to die for me, for “the Son of Man has come to seek and to save that which was lost” (Luke 19:10) and “to give His life a ransom for many” (Mark 10:45b). Mission accomplished! He did it—He accomplished what I could not. He made a way for me to be saved and reconciled to God. At the cross, God judged my sin as His righteousness required, and pardons me, the sinner, as His love desires.
Having believed in Jesus as my Savior, I am “justified as a gift by His grace through the redemption which is in Christ Jesus…and justified by faith apart from works of the Law” (Rom 3:24, 28; cf. Gal 2:16). God’s salvation comes to me by grace alone (I don’t deserve it), through faith alone (not by good works), in Christ alone. Paul wrote, “For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; not as a result of works, so that no one may boast” (Eph 2:8-9), and “the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Rom 6:23). God does not lie, and His Word is truth. Eternal salvation is His gift to me—no strings attached. If I have to work for it, it’s no longer a gift but something I’ve earned and am owed.
Under the Mosaic Law, the transmission and teaching of God’s Word to subsequent generations was primarily the responsibility of the parents who served as conduits through which God’s law was passed down to children. The instruction to parents was, “These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up (Deut 6:6-7). The phrase, “teach them diligently,” translates the Hebrew verb “shanan” (שָׁנָן), which means “to engrave or chisel on stone.” The verb is in the Piel stem, which makes it intensive (i.e., teach diligently). Here, the tongue of the parents is likened to a chisel they keep applying to their children’s minds in order to engrave God’s Word into their thinking (cf., Prov 6:20-23). Where and when was this activity of training to take place? Moses said, you “shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up” (Deut 6:7b). “Sitting” suggests times of rest, and “walking” speaks of activity. When you “lie down” suggests evening time, and when you “rise up” suggests the morning hours. These form a double merism which encompass of all of life. In this way, Deuteronomy is aimed at subsequent generations, that they might learn God’s will and faithfully transmit it to their children, who will pass it along to their children, and so on.
There is similar instruction in the NT where Paul directed Christians fathers to raise their children “in the discipline and instruction of the Lord” (Eph 6:4). Hoehner notes, “the training and admonition come from the Lord or are prescribed by the Lord through fathers.”
In the New Testament, prophets were not only those who received direct revelation from God but also served as teachers of His Word. Their role involved both the foretelling of future events (Acts 11:27-28; 21:10-11) and the forth-telling or proclamation of God’s truth, which included explaining and applying existing Scripture. This dual function meant that prophets also acted as teachers in the early church, helping believers understand doctrine and the teachings of Christ. The role of prophets as teachers is seen in passages like 1 Corinthians, where Paul said, “One who prophesies speaks to men for edification and exhortation and consolation” (1 Cor 14:3), which were all aspects of instruction and spiritual growth. Prophets, by God’s guidance, helped to build up the church, teaching what had already been revealed in Scripture while also giving inspired messages. Their role was critical before the completion of the New Testament, as they served as communicators of God’s will and truth, similar to how teachers expound upon Scripture today. Hoehner notes, “New Testament prophets were gifts to the church to provide edification, exhortation, and comfort (1 Cor 14:3). They probably revealed God’s will to the church when the biblical canon was incomplete. Since the apostles and prophets were foundational, they did not exist after the first generation of believers.”
Evangelists in the Bible were primarily focused on proclaiming the gospel and sharing the good news of Jesus Christ, but their role also included teaching. Evangelists were responsible for bringing the message of salvation to unbelievers and helping new converts understand the basics of the Christian faith. In Ephesians 4:11, evangelists are among the list of communication gifts—or gifted persons—God has provided to His church. This shows that their role, like the others listed, was to build up and strengthen the church (Eph 4:12). Evangelists did not just preach a simple message of salvation; they would have needed to teach the foundational truths of the gospel and explain what it meant to live as a disciple of Christ. Philip the evangelist is a good example. In Acts 8, he not only preached the gospel to the Ethiopian eunuch but also explained the meaning of Isaiah 53 and taught about Jesus (Acts 8:26-34). When the eunuch asked Philip about Isaiah 53:7-8, we’re told, “Then Philip opened his mouth, and beginning from this Scripture he preached Jesus to him” (Acts 8:35). Philip’s role in that encounter included teaching, since he had to guide the eunuch in understanding Scripture.
Christians have the individual responsibility of studying God’s Word directly as well as through gifted teachers. This will help advance their spiritual life to they can grow to maturity (2 Tim 2:15; Heb 5:12-14; 1 Pet 2:2; 2 Pet 3:18). They are personally accountable to God for what they learn and how they live. If Christians can find a good Bible teacher and learn from him, they are blessed. However, no Bible teacher is perfect in his teaching, so Christians must be like the Bereans, “examining the Scriptures daily” (Acts 17:11) to verify the teaching is biblical. Furthermore, spiritual growth is a gradual process that requires discipline, perseverance, and a commitment to moving beyond the basics of the faith. The goal is to reach spiritual maturity, reflecting the fullness of Christ, which prepares believers for effective service and eternal rewards.
However, there are also times when God expects His ministers to support themselves through a trade or employment. In such cases, God expects them to remain faithful to their ministry and not compromise His Word. In the New Testament, we learn that the Apostle Paul worked to support himself financially while continuing to engage in regular ministry. He did this so he could freely “offer the gospel without charge” to others (1 Cor 9:18; cf. 2 Cor 11:17). When preaching in Ephesus, he said, “I have coveted no one’s silver or gold or clothes. You yourselves know that these hands ministered to my own needs and to the men who were with me” (Acts 20:33-34). To the Christians in Thessalonica, Paul wrote, “For you recall, brethren, our labor and hardship, how working night and day so as not to be a burden to any of you, we proclaimed to you the gospel of God” (1 Th 2:9). In his second letter to them, he emphasized, “we did not eat anyone’s bread without paying for it, but with labor and hardship we kept working night and day so that we would not be a burden to any of you; not because we do not have the right to this, but to offer ourselves as a model for you, so that you would follow our example” (2 Th 3:8-9). This ethic aligns with Jesus’ instructions to His disciples when He told them to preach to the lost sheep of Israel, saying, “Freely you received, freely give” (Matt 10:8). Jesus expected His disciples to engage in ministry without seeking personal gain, embodying the principle of grace.
A pastor who does not like to hear this should check his attitude. If he teaches others to be content with “food and covering” (1 Tim 6:8), he should be content with the same. If he teaches others not “to fix their hope on the uncertainty of riches, but on God, who richly supplies us with all things to enjoy” (1 Tim 6:17), he should model this attitude himself. This does not mean a pastor cannot or should not enjoy support and prosperity if the Lord provides it, but his commission as a minister should not depend on it. Paul said, “I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me” (Phil 4:11-13).
The New Testament references the gift of teaching in several passages (Rom 12:6-8; 1 Cor 12:28; Eph 4:11). This gift involves the ability to clearly explain and communicate biblical truths so that others can understand and apply them. A teacher, in the biblical sense, is responsible for instructing others in the doctrines of the faith, helping believers grow in their knowledge of God and in their spiritual maturity. The pastor-teacher is tasked with providing consistent, in-depth doctrinal teaching to equip believers for spiritual growth and effective Christian living. This gift requires a high level of dedication to study and a deep understanding of Scripture, as the teacher’s role is to communicate biblical truths with accuracy and authority. The ideal form of teaching is expository teaching—explaining Scripture verse by verse. It is from exegetical study and expositional teaching that Christian doctrines are formulated. This gift is vital for the building up of the church, as it equips believers to live out their faith more fully (Eph 4:12-13).
Becoming a good Bible teacher requires significant time and study. A good expositor of God’s Word is the product of many wise choices and sacrifices. Responding to the call of ministry often means forfeiting a more lucrative career for that of a Bible teacher, a role that typically offers modest compensation, if any at all. A good Bible teacher usually spends years in seminary, studying God’s Word, learning the original languages of Hebrew and Greek, and delving into ancient history, philosophy, hermeneutics, and theology. He invests significant personal time and money in his academic training and in building his library. Perhaps one in a hundred Bible teachers excel at their craft, and even fewer graciously share their material without charge, making free Bible resources rare.
A Christian minister operates with the confidence that God’s Word is alive and powerful (Heb 4:12) and accomplishes what the Lord intends (Isa 55:11). The Bible teacher understands that he is merely a messenger, a conduit of grace to a needy world. He knows that the effectiveness of his ministry does not rest on his abilities but on the Holy Spirit’s work in the hearts of others and the inherent power of Scripture to change lives. The teacher’s role is to “preach the Word; be ready in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort, with great patience and instruction” (2 Tim 4:2). He understands that the ultimate goal of his teaching is not just knowledge but transformation, bringing people into a deeper relationship with God and equipping them to live out their faith in practical ways.
Gossip generally involves sharing private information about someone with the intent of causing harm or creating division. This information may be true or false. Solomon wrote, “He who goes about as a gossip reveals secrets, but a trustworthy person keeps a secret” (Prov 11:13), and “He who goes about as a slanderer reveals secrets, therefore do not associate with a gossip” (Prov 20:19), and “For lack of wood the fire goes out, and where there is no gossip, contention quiets down” (Prov 26:20). The general intent behind gossip is to spread information that can be injurious, whether it’s to someone’s reputation, relationships, or well-being. Gossip typically involves sharing private or sensitive information with the purpose or result of causing harm, creating division, or stirring up conflict.
In the Bible, we see examples of people sharing private information in a valid way that serves to protect the righteous and prevent unnecessary harm. In one sense, integrity is an antonym of gossip, as it reflects a commitment to honesty and truthfulness. An example of integrity is found in 1 Samuel 20, where Jonathan, the son of King Saul, warns his friend David about his father’s intent to kill him. Together, they devise a plan to confirm Saul’s intentions, and when it’s clear that Saul seeks David’s life, Jonathan helps David escape. Part of their plan involves Jonathan sharing private information with David about the king’s intentions. During their planning, Jonathan told David, “If I should indeed learn that evil has been decided by my father to come upon you, then would I not tell you about it?” (1 Sam 20:9). The implied answer is yes—Jonathan would indeed inform David about what King Saul communicated in private. When Jonathan learned that his father intended to kill David (1 Sam 20:24-34), he went to David and, by means of a previously agreed-upon method of secret communication (1 Sam 20:18-23), revealed Saul’s evil intentions (1 Sam 20:35-39). The outcome of Jonathan’s actions resulted in David’s safety, enabling him to escape Saul’s evil intentions (1 Sam 20:42). Overall, Jonathan’s sharing of private information was a righteous act, motivated by his love and concern for his trusted friend, David, making it distinct from the harmful and self-serving nature of gossip. Other examples of people who shared private information with others for legitimate reasons include:
Though Paul lived his life in ongoing submission to God, this did not mean he was sinless. Paul continued to possess a sinful nature and commit personal acts of sin (Rom 7:18-25). Despite his genuine commitment to God and his desire to live righteously, he recognized the ongoing reality of sin’s presence within himself. This is why Paul could say, “I find then the principle that evil is present in me, the one who wants to do good” (Rom 7:21). Submission to God is not characterized by sinless perfection but rather by a pattern of growth and dependence on His grace. While it is never God’s will for us to sin (1 John 2:1), the reality remains that we do sin, as “there is not a righteous man on earth who continually does good and who never sins” (Eccl 7:20). When we sin, we grieve the Holy Spirit (Eph 4:30) and break fellowship with God. Thankfully, God has provided a way to restore fellowship with Him through confession. According to 1 John 1:9, confessing our sins is the biblical response to personal sin, as it involves acknowledging our failure, agreeing with God about its seriousness, and relying on His promise to faithfully forgive and cleanse us.
I tried to reason with her on multiple occasions about work-related matters, but she wouldn’t listen and appeared closed-minded. She then began a process of elimination by marginalizing me, ignoring me in person, and in public settings. This tactic made me feel isolated, devalued, and unsupported, which felt like a betrayal and was very demoralizing. Her acts of rejection, ignoring me, and social isolation were very painful and caused me to experience psychological and emotional disequilibrium. Her lack of communication created uncertainty, making me feel insecure about my job status, performance, and future with the company. Her betrayal as a trusted supervisor hurt me. Biblically, David experienced the pain of betrayal, lamenting, “My friend, the one I trusted completely, the one who shared my food, has turned against me” (Psalm 41:9). Even Jesus “was deeply troubled” when Judas was about to betray Him (John 13:21). As people, none of us are exempt from the hurt caused when a trusted person turns against us for no good reason.
My first course of action was to reprioritize my life and give attention to what mattered most. The years of dealing with a toxic boss had negatively impacted my marriage. After reflecting on my situation at work, I decided to step down from my position and assume a lesser role that removed me from daily interaction with my supervisor. I had to take a cut in pay, but I thought it was necessary given my painful circumstances at work. The subsequent separation from my boss was healthy, as it removed me from the line of fire. It took me a few months to recalibrate my thoughts and feelings, but after seeking medical help and digging deeply into God’s Word, the dark clouds rolled away, and the sun began to shine again in my life. What follows are some of the practices I employed during my time of dealing with a toxic boss, and these continue to be part of my daily routine.
Meditate on God’s Word. David wrote of the righteous person who delights “in the law of the LORD, and in His law he meditates day and night” (Psa 1:2; cf. Josh 1:8). Elsewhere it is written, “O how I love Your law! It is my meditation all the day” (Psa 119:97). Paul wrote, “Let the word of Christ richly dwell within you, with all wisdom teaching and admonishing one another with psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with thankfulness in your hearts to God” (Col 3:16). Meditating on Scripture involves more than just reading it. It encompasses a consistent practice of engaging with the text, allowing its teachings to permeate the mind. This process includes regularly reading passages from the Bible and taking time to ponder their meanings and implications. Throughout the day, meditation on Scripture encourages reflection on how its principles apply to daily life. This practice helps integrate biblical wisdom into everyday living and supports spiritual growth. This was essential for me during this difficult time.
Live by faith. I understand the Christian life starts and ends with faith, which provides stability for my soul during difficult times. God said, “My righteous one shall live by faith” (Heb 10:38a). I need to trust God at His Word, claiming His promises and obeying His directives. Scripture teaches me to “walk by faith, not by sight” (2 Cor 5:7) and to “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight” (Prov 3:5-6). As a Christian, I need to “trust in Him at all times” (Psa 62:8a) because “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble” (Psa 46:1). My challenge was to make sure my faith was greater than my feelings.
Pray for leadership. God’s Word directs me to pray for leaders, and I made it a discipline to pray for my boss on a daily basis. Paul wrote, “I urge that entreaties and prayers, petitions and thanksgivings, be made on behalf of all men, for kings and all who are in authority, so that we may lead a tranquil and quiet life in all godliness and dignity” (1 Tim 2:1-2). Praying for leadership is an act of faith and obedience to God, even though a leader may be unjust. I did not approve of my supervisor’s values and practices, but I did not hate her either. I chose to pray for her and to seek God’s best in her life.
Realize God uses difficulties to develop my character. God sometimes places me in the furnace of affliction to burn away the dross of weak character and to refine the golden qualities He wants to see in me. And whenever He turns up the heat, He never takes His hand off the thermostat. My response is always to be one of faith, as I trust Him in the trial. Paul wrote, “we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope” (Rom 5:3-4). To “rejoice” in problems is surely an act of faith. James wrote similarly, saying, “Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance; and let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be mature and complete, lacking in nothing” (Jam 1:2-4). My faith was not always as strong as I would have liked, and there were times when darkness invaded my soul. Still, I learned to apply these verses to my boss and situation and, over time, grew stronger.
Let God deal out retribution. It is valid for Christians to operate from a place of justice, but never revenge. Scripture states, “Do not say, ‘I will repay evil;’ wait for the LORD, and He will save you” (Prov 20:22). It also says, “Never pay back evil for evil to anyone. Respect what is right in the sight of all men. If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men. Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God” (Rom 12:17-19a). Additionally, it is written, “See that no one repays another with evil for evil, but always seek after that which is good for one another and for all people” (1 Th 5:15). Peter wrote, “All of you be harmonious, sympathetic, brotherly, kindhearted, and humble in spirit; not returning evil for evil or insult for insult, but giving a blessing instead; for you were called for the very purpose that you might inherit a blessing” (1 Pet 3:8-9). God will dispense justice in His time and way, as Paul states, “It is only just for God to repay with affliction those who afflict you, and to give relief to you who are afflicted” (2 Th 1:6-7). I chose to operate from a divine viewpoint and to place the matter in God’s hands, letting Him administer justice as He sees fit.
Forgive the offender. I chose to forgive my boss, even though she did not apologize or change her behavior. I think of the words of Jesus, who said, “But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins” (Matt 6:15). It’s interesting that Jesus prayed for those who crucified Him, saying, “Father, forgive them” (Luke 23:34). This did not remove the guilt of His attackers but did express the heart of Jesus toward those who harmed Him. Wanting to be like my Savior, I chose to have a forgiving heart toward my boss. Unconditional forgiveness benefits me personally, for holding on to unforgiveness is like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies. It doesn’t work out very well for me.
Take time to rest and pray. As a caregiver, it’s important that I make time to rest and pray, for I cannot pour from an empty vessel. Even Jesus, during His earthly ministry, made time to get away by Himself to rest and pray. In Luke’s Gospel, we’re told, “Jesus Himself would often slip away to the wilderness and pray” (Luke 5:16), and “He went off to the mountain to pray, and He spent the whole night in prayer to God” (Luke 6:12; cf. Matt 14:23). Making time for rest is a necessity for good mental health. Lewis Sperry Chafer wrote, “It is a serious thing to remove the element of relaxation and play from any life. We cannot be normal physically, mentally, or spiritually if we neglect the vital factor in human life. God has provided that our joy shall be full” (Lewis S. Chafer, He That Is Spiritual, p. 61).
I define spirituality as: The life the Christian experiences when properly living in dependence upon the Holy Spirit and walking according to Scripture. Spirituality assumes regeneration, as one cannot be spiritual without being born again to new life through God the Holy Spirit (John 3:3; 1 Pet 1:3, 23). This new spiritual birth—or regeneration—occurs at the moment of faith in Christ, when one believes in Jesus as Savior (John 3:15-16; 6:40; 20:31; Acts 4:12; 16:31). Once they are born again, their spiritual life will advance in proportion to their intake of Scripture and their willingness to apply it as the Holy Spirit directs. Since we cannot live what we do not know, it’s necessary to learn God’s Word in order to live His will. A Christian who consistently studies and applies God’s Word will reach spiritual maturity more quickly than one who studies little. Christians who are ignorant of God’s Word, or unwilling to obey it, will default to human viewpoint thinking, emotion, or experience as the rule for life. Consequently, immature Christians may define spirituality by non-biblical terms or by their feelings at any given moment. This humanistic and emotional metric will inevitably lead to uncertainty, instability, and inconsistency in their walk with the Lord due to incorrect thoughts and vacillating emotions. God wants our thinking to be properly calibrated according to His Word (Psa 1:2-3; 2 Tim 2:15; 3:16-17; 1 Pet 2:2), and to live by faith (2 Cor 5:7; Heb 10:38; 11:6), which eventually yields fruit (Gal 5:22-23) and a stable Christian life (Psa 119:165; Isa 26:3; Phil 4:6-7; Col 3:16; 2 Tim 1:7). But time is a key ingredient for the Christian to reach spiritual maturity. Charles Ryrie states:
The disciplined Christian develops over time, as biblical thinking leads to righteous acts, and righteous acts develop into godly habits, and godly habits produce godly character. Spiritual disciplines bring us to the place of spiritual maturity, which is God’s desire for us (Heb 6:1). The writer to the Hebrews references mature believers, saying, “solid food is for the mature, who because of practice have their senses trained to discern good and evil” (Heb 5:14). Maturity translates the Greek adjective teleios (τέλειος) which denotes one who has attained a level of spiritual growth, which is witnessed in the daily application God’s Word (Heb 4:1-2). Mature Christians are what they are because of practice and training. The word “practice” translates the Greek noun hexis (ἕξις), which, according to Louw-Nida, refers to “a repeated activity—practice, doing again and again, doing repeatedly.”
The successful Christian life starts with positive volition. Jesus said, “If anyone is willing to do His will, he will know of the teaching, whether it is of God or whether I speak from Myself” (John 7:17). The word “willing” translates the Greek verb thelō (θέλω), which, according to Louw & Nida, means “to desire to have or experience something—to desire, to want, to wish.”
Forgiveness is the act of pardoning or releasing someone from an offense, wrongdoing, or debt. At the moment someone sins against me, it’s important that I forgive them and let the matter go. When I forgive, the matter is transferred to God, and the offender must deal directly with the Lord, and the Lord with him. By faith, I have fulfilled what the Lord requires of me. To ruminate on the offense only relives it in my mind and enflames my emotions which, if not controlled, can neutralize my ability to think and reason biblically. Forgiveness, at its core, transcends the realm of emotions and operates by faith in God and His Word. It is a conscious decision to align with God’s will, even when my feelings urge me otherwise.
Forgiveness often comes from a place of pain. Remember, it was while Jesus was on the cross, suffering and dying, that He forgave those who crucified Him, saying, “Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing” (Luke 23:34). Jesus’ persecutors were not asking for His forgiveness, and they certainly did not deserve it. By His actions on the cross, Jesus modeled the love He taught His disciples, saying, “love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, and pray for those who mistreat you” (Luke 6:27-28).
Forgiveness leaves justice for God to administer. Jesus, while He was on the cross and being attacked, did not retaliate. Peter wrote, “while being reviled, He did not revile in return; while suffering, He uttered no threats, but kept entrusting Himself to Him who judges righteously” (1 Pet 2:23). When suffering unjustly, we are to look to the Lord, and “Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, ‘Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,’ says the Lord” (Rom 12:19). We believe that God will administer justice in His time and way. Paul wrote, “it is only just for God to repay with affliction those who afflict you” (2 Th 1:6). It’s okay to be hurt, but never to hate, or retaliate.
Love is an intrinsic attribute of God that motivated Him to reach into time and space and offer salvation to lost sinners who have offended Him. This was a voluntary act of love on the part of God, as He was in no way compelled to act. But He did act for our benefit, and this is most pronounced in the sending of His Son to die for us. In Scripture, we are told, “For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life” (John 3:16). Here, the apostle John used the Greek verb agapao (ἀγαπάω), which speaks of God’s love for lost sinners, and His love was manifest toward us by providing His uniquely born Son as an atoning sacrifice for sin so that we might not spend eternity in the lake of fire. Instead, we might believe in His Son and come to possess eternal life. Love here is universal, extending to all of humanity. It is gracious because the object is undeserving (Rom 5:8). It is giving, as God gave His precious Son to die for us. It is simple, being received by faith alone in Christ alone (Acts 4:12; Eph 2:8-9). And it is salvific, saving those who accept God’s Son as their Savior (John 1:12; Gal 3:26).
Shrewdness is a quality that God’s people should possess. By shrewdness, I mean possessing divine wisdom that leads to thoughtful, wise, and sensible behavior. In the NT, Jesus instructed His disciples, saying, “I send you out as sheep in the midst of wolves; so be shrewd as serpents and innocent as doves” (Matt 10:16). In this perilous world filled with potential harm from wolf-like individuals, Christians are urged not to adopt a similar aggressive stance or conform to worldly standards. Unlike wolves, who hunt for self-interest, believers are called to emulate the traits of sheep and innocent doves—animals that pose no threat and actively avoid unnecessary conflict. As followers of Christ, our role is that of peacemakers rather than troublemakers. Despite the dangers and hostile forces at play in the world, Jesus doesn’t remove us from the environment but advises us to be “shrewd as serpents” (Matt 10:16b). The word shrewd translates the Greek adjective phronimos (φρόνιμος), which pertains to “understanding associated with insight and wisdom, sensible, thoughtful, prudent, wise.”
A third area where the Holy Spirit is working in the hearts of unbelievers concerns judgment, “because the ruler of this world has been judged” (John 16:11). Satan has been judged and found guilty before God. This means that Satan and his world-system is condemned. Being the ruler of this world, Satan naturally rules in the hearts of all unbelievers. Three times Jesus referred to Satan as “the ruler of this world” (John 12:31; 14:30; 16:11). Other passages of Scripture call Satan “the god of this world” (2 Cor 4:4), and “the prince of the power of the air” (Eph 2:2), informing us “that the whole world lies in the power of the evil one” (1 John 5:19). Satan rules as a tyrant who has “weakened the nations” (Isa 14:12), and currently “deceives the whole world” (Rev 12:9). Satan continues to attack God’s people today (1 Pet 5:8), practices deception (2 Cor 11:13-15), and has well developed strategies of warfare (Eph 6:10-12). Furthermore, humanity is living in an “evil age” (Gal 1:4), under “the dominion of Satan” (Acts 26:18), whose sphere of influence is called “the domain of darkness” (Col 1:13). But Satan has been judged and his punishment is pending execution. Furthermore, those who side with Satan in this life will be judged with him in eternity. According to Ryrie, “At the cross, Christ triumphed over Satan, serving notice on unbelievers of their judgment to come.”
God shows a certain amount of favor, or grace, to everyone, including the righteous and the wicked. Jesus revealed, “For He causes His sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous” (Matt 5:45). This is the goodness God shows to all mankind regardless of their character. However, though the evil and unrighteous encounter God’s favor, it does not change them. Isaiah explained, “Though the wicked is shown favor, he does not learn righteousness; he deals unjustly in the land of uprightness, and does not perceive the majesty of the LORD” (Isa 26:10). Apart from the general favor God shows to all mankind, there is a special favor He shows to some. In the case of special favor, God either directly blesses someone, or creates a favorable disposition in the hearts of others, even unbelievers, so that they treat His people with exceptional kindness (Prov 21:1).
It was early January and I was dining after dark with friends when I heard faint cries coming from outside. Standing and looking out a nearby window, I saw a young man who looked to be in his early twenties, stagger down the sidewalk and collapse about ten feet from the building. I rushed outside and knelt on the ground next to him while others inside called for medical help (which took about five minutes to arrive). He lay on the cold asphalt, shivering and sobbing, and appeared to be more in emotional distress than physical pain. He looked at me, a total stranger, and through his tears said he was on the verge of losing his girlfriend and newborn baby and that his life had been ruined by bad choices and the use of cocaine and other drugs. After saying these things, he turned his head and cried uncontrollably. His life had not always been marked by bad choices. Phantom memories surfaced and he spoke of a Christian childhood when Christ was Lord of his life. Somewhere in his teenage years he had turned away from the Lord and the suffering of bad choices and worldly friends helped bring about his present sorrow. I put my hand on his shoulder and prayed quietly. He cried out to the Lord, and not knowing what to say, he started praying the Lord’s Prayer: “Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be Thy name…” (Matt 6:9, KJV). I verbally joined him in his prayer so that he would not feel alone, but would know he was in the presence of a caring Christian. He heard me praying with him, and through teary eyes stared for a moment. For a brief instant we connected, but a minute later an ambulance pulled into the parking lot and I was moved aside so medical professionals could perform their necessary service. The young man called out to me as he was put on the stretcher and placed in the ambulance and I could only watch and pray for him as he was taken away. I never saw him again, though I’ve prayed for him many times.
Looking into Scripture, we find great examples of suffering. Job and Jeremiah were two men who suffered greatly. Both were sensitive men who knew depression as a result of their suffering, and as we read about their lives we can cry with them. In the midst of his sadness Job said, “why then hast Thou brought me out of the womb? Would that I had died and no eye had seen me! I should have been as though I had not been, carried from womb to tomb” (Job 10:18-19). Because of his sorrow, Job saw his life as a “land of darkness and deep shadow; the land of utter gloom as darkness itself, of deep shadow without order” (Job 10:21-22a). During his time of sadness, the prophet Jeremiah wished that his “mother would have been [his] grave, and her womb ever pregnant” and in his great anguish went on to ask, “why did I ever come forth from the womb to look on trouble and sorrow, so that my days have been spent in shame?” (Jer 20:17-18). 
Other men in Scripture such as David, Elijah, Peter and Paul all knew suffering and sorrow, yet expressed words of hope and faith in God. Of course, no one knew suffering more than the Lord Jesus Christ, who throughout His life was “despised and forsaken of men, a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief” (Isa 53:3). During the time of His public ministry, Jesus knew He would suffer and die upon the cross, and He declared, “the Son of Man must suffer many things, and be rejected by the elders and chief priests and scribes, and be killed, and be raised up on the third day” (Luke 9:22). And just hours before His crucifixion, Jesus “began to be grieved and distressed” (Matt 26:37), telling a few of His disciples, “My soul is deeply grieved, to the point of death” (Matt 26:38). In spite of His personal pain, Jesus was willing to suffer and die for the benefit of the salvation of others. The Scripture declares that “as a result of the anguish of His soul, He will see it and be satisfied; by His knowledge the Righteous One, My Servant, will justify the many, as He will bear their iniquities” (Isa 53:11). The death of Christ had meaning, because God’s righteousness was satisfied and others were blessed to enjoy the gift of eternal life (Rom 3:21-26).